be it with me, Loves.

more jokes

2009-11-14T13:29:00.003+08:00

Saaaaaaalam kengkawans !

atlast today i off ! woohoooo ! yesterday met A after work. heeeeeeeh ! A talk non-stop, me too ! while otw to Clementi, took bus with world ! haha, member busok kan name brader sendiri siol. HAHAH ! then me and A get down at Central bcus Ibu asked me to buy santan Kara. walk back home. reached home, get changed, washed make ups away, went down meet A and yes, we ton. only the both of us. we laugh non stop, craps all the way. yes, thank you A for the day. heeeeeeh ! ton again with you kay ! hahaha.

now i'm waiting for Casper calls. yea, catching a movie with him but i dont feel like going. yes, i got no money sioool. Casper ask me to stop saying about money. CB you ! hahhaa, i love you so much, Very nice eh bhy. okay done, i wanna get myself ready (:

Deniza said this while hugging me " mama balik dulu kay, nanti papa jumpa mama pat rumah. " mama referring to me while papa referring to herself. hahaha, yes, i laugh out loud. bcus its been a long time since i work with her, i love her kecohness. well, kaki gerek. hahhaa, she's cute, she's playful, she's katek & she's 18 ! hahaha, Deniza, joke again soooon. hahaha.

which one?

2009-11-12T18:41:00.002+08:00

wahseyyy saaaaaaaaps !

its Thursday ! and oh, time pass fucking fast. isn't it good? HAHAHA. yes, Bell Mans make my day this whole weeeeek. the jokes are so freaking fun sioool ! hahaha. i can laugh my ass out and if i could, i wanna roll all over ! hahaha. k dah. and yea, I Miss Adam Ng. its been two weeks since the last i seen him at work. and yea, Cik Ahmad always with his " Ika Marina (: " hahaha. overall, they are fun enough ! teeeeheee !

A been so tired, A slept the whole day yesterday and continues today. i was wondering and keep on asking A, why is A so tired uh? hmm. haha, when A wake up, it only last for not even 2 hours and A will sleep back. macam babi eh kau. HAHAHA. A make me smile like a crazy girl everyday. A told me A dont like it when im being so sarcastic. heh, thats me. (:

and not to forget ! i miss my Super Super Teman Tapi Mesra ! yes, its Bby Casper ! hahaha, and oh, i dreamt of Bby yesterday for quarreling with me inside my dreams and i dont know bcus of what. HAHAH ! Bhy , I Miss You So Much, Very Nice ! hahahh, quick, movie sooon okay Bhy? Jennifer's body alrights? 2012 next two weeks then watch. I Love You So Much !

Halfway Closed (:

2009-11-09T22:59:00.003+08:00

Saaaaaaaaaaap kengkawans !

i'm so so so so tired this few days. i guess its all bcus of i slept for less than 5 hours for the past few days. yeaaaaa, Bby should be happy that still wanna go out even though i am so so tired. and bie, no bukan terpakse tau tapi dengan ikhlas hati. heeeeeeeh ! and i can't really stand the pain at my leg yesterday. i need to sit all the way. no strength to walk.

& today i really enjoyed myself at work. bcus all i do is laugh like a mad girl. heh, thanks to Syafiq, Hakim and Cel. really, their jokes still running inside my mind. gosh ! looking forward for the days to work with ya'll again ! hahaha and as well as David. stop saying the stud. hahahah. cute siak ni botak !

Bby called me today and guess what? i guess a shocking news that Chucky's fren tegur Bby's fren and ask about Bby and stuff. really, i was mad bcus all this thing happens was two fucking months back. which me and Bby have move on and concentrating to what we are doing now. god ! just fuck off lah dude.

Eh Chucky, biler sorang, lu wobble, biler ramai, brani rempuh. kimak, gantung saja lah gee.

Heart Breaks.

2009-11-08T00:28:00.002+08:00

Saaaaaaaaap people !

yesterday was a really disappoint day ! whole day i cry, mad at everyone even people who are not in wrong got scolded by me for free. yey ness ! hais, butbut the sweet part, thanks to Ayah for cheering me up. he make me laugh like mad when he eat crabs and say " taste like chicken " with his stupid face. hahahha ! from there, i start smiling and laugh my ass out. hahaha.

i thought it could be the happiest day and i could enjoy my day when im shopping but No. i never even go out. *tears* & again, thanks to Ibu for giving a good idea to catch some movie together. heeeeeh, eheh, baru aku perasan, mak bapak aku sweeet sangat eh yesterday. HAHHA then off back home. hmmmm, boredom !

& yaaaaaaaw, im waiting for the day Ibu Ayah Aunty Uncle go KL. heeeeeeeeh, aper lagi, tanduk naek naek. mesti ton beb, HAHAHA. too bad Cas, you're under probation even though you got homeleave that day (: i will tell once i got the date confirmed (:

i better off to sleep now. *yawn

Haziq Hazrel Bin Muhammad Halif

2009-11-07T11:45:00.004+08:00

Suddenly I miss this kid. Baby Haziq Hazrel ! I miss him calling me Mama. I miss the time biler dier tengah marah. I miss the time he ran to him. I miss the time that i send him home. I miss the time that i carry him. I miss the time dier mengenyam ! I miss the time he shout to people BABI GAJAH ! hahahhaa, rindu this kid many many !

but the fact, I have to forget everything. I've move on and I have to forget Baby Haziq ! gosh, this junior Matrep ! harap harap, satu hari nanti, aku terserempak jugak dengan dier ehhh ! hmm !

spell F U C K.

2009-11-07T10:19:00.004+08:00

& i miss Qayyum who is known as Azul. the bestest best fren. 10 more days to 1
year and 10 months of frenship ! hahahha. the moments that we share, sadness, love. hmm ! sorry Azul for neglecting you alooot ! heeeeh. and now, he's serving his NS. last week i was mad at him BCUS he never inform me about his P.O.P ! geram siol. we quarrel awhile. but then things solve. i just say " takpe lah, tunggu Azul ORD ah " still have a year plus to go and i still can say wait for his ORD. hahah buat kekek ahhh. (:

yes, life is so so so so fuck up. reaaaaaaaaaaaally ! i can't sleep. perhaps, i never sleep the whole night. just a short nap yesterday evening. wtf?! since 0600hours in the morning, waited for that C A S P E R to call. but yeaaa, its 1022hours. no calls received. god ! life sucks. everything suck.

fuuuuuuuuuuck ! *tears*

$$$$ ? CB !

2009-11-06T22:02:00.003+08:00

too many things is my mind right now. Ibu Ayah keep on asking me for money bcus tmr is my salary. harap harap je aku tak dapat ! they dont even let me buy my things for my Prom Night. yes, i got irritated as usual. whenever i hear Ayah keep on saying about that day, i will do my own things and make myself deaf ! reaaaaaally, i just can't help it, i have to. bcus, they are too much at times. the weird part is, elder bro never even give them a single cent and for me, its a must. aku keje hotel, gaji tak seberape je sak ! wtf .. drop the topic.

i guess, something wrong with myself. MC again today. cepat cepat get well lah ika ! bcus i cannot stand it after two days stayed at home. gaaaaaaah ! dah macam penjara. ni takle, tu takle. fuck kay. easy to say, its a NO to whatever i do alright ! shitzx, thats why i give up with life.

i was down this few days. and thanks A for cheering me up ! bcus all A could do whenever im down is A will start the crap and then i will laugh to myself whenever A make a joke. yesterday i slept v v v late, again thanks to A for accompany me the whole night by sms till i was silently asleep. A only realise that i never reply A's message at 0600hours ! hahaha. gundu eh kau.

i just felt, there's a diff in you.

Think & thiiiiiiiiiink !

2009-11-05T18:01:00.002+08:00

i am on MC right now. i am not really well, but i guess, i will be going to bed soon. i need some rest as tomorrow i will be working morning shift. i start to feel the tiredness. hmm. i think, i need some time to get some rest well. no point taking off bcus i won't rest. but at times, people wont think when we sacrifice something for them, they treat us like a piece of shit in return. well, people are people, guys are guys.

i stayed at home the whole day. yes, it's really boring. but i occupied myself by watching Tangisan Bulan Madu the whole day. its really a great show. how they start to love and end with death. a touching show. hmm, i love how the story goes, the sweet and sour parts (:

i swear i miss the sweet parts about me and Casper. i guess he changed alot after what we had gone through. i can't bare to lose him. everyday, everynight, i dream of him. and suddenly i will start to be in tears. hais, i give up. till here than.

The Changes.

2009-11-04T20:59:00.003+08:00

i thought Casper wont be meeting me up. as he told me 1100 or 1200 but then he called me up at 1330. we did quarrel for awhile. sape tak marah biler dier cakap jumpe Saturday je but i took off just bcus wanna accompany him to find some job. fuck siol. i was super mad. takpe lah, makin hari kau makin menjadi jadi kay. satu hari confirm aku terlepas cakap bende bende yang kau tak suke ehh.

& oh, i really give up with life and everything. the strength you gave wont last very long as all you could is to hurt me. i tried to be v v patience. you told me that i am your everything, are you really really sure? im tired of quarreling. everyweek, all you could is hurt me and my feelings. but still, i can't stop loving you. i am still waiting patiencely for the time you'll be discharged.

back to my story, i meet up with Casper and yea, applied a job, hopefully he got it. but hell, today i keep on quarrel with Ibu and i dont know why. yes, suddenly she's being so irritating. all i could say is to ask her to keep quiet. really, its v v annoying if Ayah never comment on what im doing but she keep on nagging non stop. gaaaaaaah, life is just a fuck up life !

Untuk Mu.

2009-11-03T22:06:00.002+08:00

To You ..
Every seconds, minutes, hours and days, i kept thinking of you. Day by day, my love for you is getting stronger than i ever thought. I just cant stop loving you. Your love, care, concern and everything is just something that is so meaningful to me and my life. I'm happy to have you in my life.

You brighten up my days. You make me smile everytime i hear your voice. I can't stop laughing with you around. I can't stop hugging/kissing you when you were by my side. Loving you is just a bestest thing ever.

I promise to go through everything together with you, all the up and down, thick and thin. Things could suddenly changed if you really wanted to changed. I promise to stop saying things which hurts. I promise to take care of myself when i'm outside. & I promise to only love you !

Thank you for the love, care and concern. Thank you for the time we spent ! Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for going through everything which we have gone through. Thank you for being my bestest best fren ! Thank you for being my everything.

I promise I won't leave you. I love you Muhammad Ar-Rauf.

I Looooove Casper !

2009-11-03T20:35:00.002+08:00

i didn't get the chance to post yesterday as i was asleep the whole day (:

Sunday,
Meet up with Bby & we really got no where to go. in the end, we just slacked while waiting for the time for me to go to work. last minute plan, bused back to Bukit Batok for nothing (: hahhaa. & i need to go. at that point of time, i dont even have the mood for work. gaaaah ! but what to do, i just go. well, like usual, i felt like crying but i tried not to(: so when i reached work, David was a killeer ! hahhaa, i love the way he jokes around. cabbed home, slept at 0130. insomnia.

Monday,
woke up at 0415. i slept for 3 hours. yes, i work morning shift. bought ciggies at coffeeshop. thought tak lepas, but hahhaa, lepas siol. then bused to work, & im not late. teehee. after work, Ibu Ayah fetched me. they took off bcus elder bro need to go back to station. case pending, 16 Nov must return back. gaaaaah ! Ibu Ayah arrived, we go to Mak Anjang's house. slacked for awhile. Ibu told me Pak Long faint at somewhere in Indo. panic jap biler pat keje. & his back home safely.

Today,
i reached work fucking early. yadayada. Adam on MC. cb sia. after work, straight back home. tired. Ayah is at home. he's down with fever and diarrhoea. hmm, & now my eyes is halfway open. reaaaaaally ! i dont know why this days i sleep early, long hours but woke up late. gosh, Bby kate aku macam babi. i guess i go to sleep already. Nights !

today todaaaaay (:

2009-10-31T21:19:00.003+08:00

Ibu woke me up at 0915. its bcus we already plan to visit Kak Yaya who just give birth to a baby boyyy. heeeee, Baby Dani cute oi ! he's more to Abang Koi face(: hmm & meeting up with Bby has been delayed till 1500. Bby went for appointment to do a laser treatment for his tattoos. yeeeeeeey !

i pity you Bie. all he say, his hands hurt bcus of the laser treatment. & Bby didn't laser the tattoos on his upper arm. when i pull up his sleeve, i was shocked to see bruise. thats alooooooot okay Bie ! i don't mind if it is a small circle one, but its not okay ! whatever lah, makin i cakap, makin you tak dengar buat aper, berbuih siol mulot.

send Bby back to hostel. it's raining heavily. i called Ibu up to ask her fetch me somewhere. she did fetch, and off back home. now my eyes is halfway close. i dont know why i wanted to sleep v v v early. its only 2153. i bet, if i sleep now, i wont wake up early. i dont know why im so tired this few days.

i'm meeting Bby tomorrow ! & also will be working at 1800. L A Z YYYYY !

specially for you.

2009-10-30T23:00:00.003+08:00

To you, Ar-Rauf ..

I know I've hurt you, yes, it is my fault. I shouldn't say that in the first place but i should trust you instead. I know you hate it when I say something like that. Yes, I've been so selfish because I wanted you to be only mine. I can't bare to lose you. Lose someone whom I really love. I've told you earlier, I'm just a useless kid who have an attitude problem. If you can't tolerate with my attitude, just tell me straight okay? I don't want in the future, you leave me because of this.

You know that I love you with all my heart. I can't simply leave you just like that even thought we fight/quarrel so badly ! You've been there for me. Go through up and down, thick and thin together. I'm willing to sacrifice anything for you but you have seen it for yourself what I've done for you.

& oh, thank you for embarrassed me in front of so so so many peoples. I can't say much, because things has happened. All I could say is I'm sorry. *tears*

Its turns out the other way round.

2009-10-30T10:02:00.003+08:00

this few days, i went to bed early but still woke up v v v late. cb, and im awake at this time, thanks to Bby for calling. thought of sleeping back but NO ! hehe, gonna siap siap to meet Bby soooooon. hahahaa. all i could say, i miss him much, will be back soon alright (:

(edited)

fuuuuuuuuuuuck up alright. thanks to me fucking attitude for making Casper fucking mad at me. so for the fucking first time Casper shout at me in front of people ! and its fucking first time we quarrel like this bad ! i wanted to cry but i just tried to hold back my tears. i know, he wont coax me. so no point i cry, kan Bie?

& Yaya was there to witness everything. i guess ya'll must be wondering why Yaya was there. i was mad with Casper when he walk with his fren and ignore me. left me all alone behind. so i make a decision to just walk out and go home. he chase after me but i say im going home since he ignore me. so when i was standing outside, i called Honey. and i walk to puss and boot. i dont know Yaya was there till she called me.

the last sentence by him " pape aku picet kau eh bsk biler aku dah alek, tu pon klau nak klua dgn aku eh. " i was in tears when he walk away, Yaya comfort me. Thanks Bie !

Smile Baby (:

2009-10-29T17:48:00.002+08:00

Bby call me before i start work just now. i felt sososo relieve ! he's sick. poor bby. im sure if im beside you, i will take care of you. Bby, take goood care of yourself tau sayang ! you know that im always worried about you. teeeheeeee ! Baby, Get Well Very Very Sooooon.

like so atlast i get to see Adam Ng face at work. first thing he came to me and say " oi, lame tak nampak. " hahhaha, tu lah, biler aku keje, its either dier malam or off. tak macam mangkuk? when he send the luggage to the guest's car, he came to me and purposely pull the door which i open for the guest. geram sak aku dgn ni anak Ng ! hahaha.

gaaaaah ! i miss my Toyol. cepat cepat Saturday ! nak jumpe Caaaaaaaasper !

Weird -.-

2009-10-28T17:10:00.004+08:00

yes, you make me worry about you. you promised me that you'll call me by 3plus 4pm today. as you know that i end work at 3pm. but where are all your promises? i never receive any calls from you. i felt something weird since yesterday night. i cried when i wanna sleep. thinking about you. i just hope, you will give me a call tomorrow. im sure everything gonna be fine.

and this fucking weird. Haz Palat, contact me back and we only talk thru msn. Chucky gave me a miss call so that i will call him back. he reason was he miss me. -.- Alanto called me a day ago and im sure Chucky gave him the number. Saufie is back in contact with me ! after so long he went missing. hahaha. he will make a jokes which makes me laugh like an idiot in the middle of the night. well the idiots except for Saufie, get a better life.

everything stated, IM MOVING ON and already forget about the past. won't turn back. and don't wish all this things happen to me again. im still not ready for relationship. but everything shows, Bby has win my heart. i love him with all my heart but still, i dont wanna get into relationship first.

The pain )':

2009-10-27T23:15:00.003+08:00

yes, i felt like someone is stabbing me on my stomach. i can't stand the pain any longer. bcus of that, my mood swing. i cannot take jokes. i can't walk a long distance. gosh, whats happening to me?! i feel like fainting right now. no point telling Ibu about it, she don't even bother to send me to the clinic. really, i need Casper badly. *tears*

Bby, what will happen if HE take my life away? haaaaaais. i felt lonely. everybody is busy. how i wish Casper is here right beside me, and cuddle me. but too bad, he have to serve his punishment. i wish you are wiping away my tears right now. i need your hug badly so i could feel that im safe and nothing will happen to me

i wanna meet Bby badly tomorrow. i wanna fetch him back from CSO ! shitzx ! i just don't understand with my life. what's happening?! hais. why can't i wait till Saturday? im just a burden to everyone. gaaaaaaaah ! stress siak dengan hidop ! *tears*

Tired ?

2009-10-27T10:48:00.004+08:00

hahahaha, for the first fucking time, Ibu wake me up in the morning just to tell me to have lunch with her later on. usually i will be the one who call her up and say " Ibu, can i go lunch with you ? " weeeet ! since im off today, i will be fetching my lil bro and meet Ibu at IMM. & oh, damn it ya'll know. i have not receive my salary.

i need kachings to buy my Prom Night dress & shoe. oh please, i need to do some shoppings too. brr, too many things in my mind. its been long time since i out with Bbyg. this time when i got my salary, im gonna ask her out. as you know, im missing the times when im with her. heh. kan b?

yesterday i slept really early and woke up at 0226 just to have my late dinner as im totally hungry. then i went back to sleep and woke up at 10plus. gosh ! is it that im too tired now a days? is it that i dont have enough rest? i guess so.

i miss Muhammad Ar-Rauf Bin Ishak. geeeez ! i spend lots and tons of time when Bby got time off or homeleave. the weird part is, Ibu and Ayah never even membebel when i say im going out with Casper. like i've said before, Bby changed my life. he showed me what is right and wrong. i just hope, i wont be losing him in the future. bcus he's the bestest fren i ever had ! i love you !

im craving for kway teow goreng mama siol.

2009-10-26T17:32:00.003+08:00

something sickening happened last Friday. & i hate it so much. i won't elaborate about it here as it is personal. only the one i trust, i will tell them. & fuck, i told Bby about it. yes, he's mad. i did cried as we never quarrel like this before. forget it. after Bby back to hostel, i went home straight. thought of going back Bukit Batok. im sure Bby gonna be mad again. so i went home straight. see Bby ! im a good girl tau. " lepas keje, alek teros. " he said. brrr ! since that incident, Bby became more protective.

i miss Casper. yes, really alot. gonna spend time with only him this week. gaah ! he's the best eveeeeer ! & Bie stop giving me money. and im sure gonna pay you back okay. ninapue ! grrr ! if not, i'll buy something which surprise you kaaaay. & I Love Muhammad Ar-Rauf Bin Ishak ! i forget to post, Atok is recovering. he could talk. he could smile. fuuuuuuh ! pray hard that he will recover as soon as possible !

i need to sleep now even though its only 1830. im totally tired right now. post again tmr.

2009-10-25T00:58:00.002+08:00

Forever it will be, Loving only Casper. yesyes, im totally in luv with him. i can't deny anymore. he's everything. he brighten up my life. having him, is a great thing ever ! yes ! he's the best. he changed my life. he changed everything about me. impossible other guys could replace him. Bie, i've promise you that i'lll go thru everything together with you and will wait for you. he's like a biggest thing which i shouldn't lose it this time.

Bie, you're the esctasy. Only you and your name could be found in my heart. No one can replace everything about you. Yes, you've been so patience towards my attitude. I dont even wish to leave you. & thank god, you sincerely accept me for who i am and what i am. & I dont even wish to lose someone whom i love so much again. hanya satu, kau milik ku.

gaaaaaaah, i need to rest alot ! will be starting a new shift by next week. trying out how it goes when i work in the morning. i hope its not bored enough. heheeeeeee ! well, i need to sleep now. gonna meet Bby later on. oh god, i love you Bby !

2009-10-23T10:39:00.002+08:00

Ahaaaaaaaaaakz ! Bby is out tmr ! yesyes, i can't wait. so i have to wake up damn fucking early bcus im fetching him. and have to be there at 9am sharp ! akan menjadi orang gila lah aku ni. after meeting him, have to go to work at 3pm. nevermind, i will sacrifice for Bby. even last week, he was touched with what i sacrifice for him. and thats why i cried when he go back to hostel ! i need Bby by my side all the time )':

i'm gonna hug him tightly tomorrow ! haahhaa, seriously, i can't wait. time please move faster ! i wanna meet Bby. gaaaaaaah ! and oh, Bby say next year December, he wanna marry me. hahhhah, then we plan together to disturb our parents. ahahha, when i told Ibu about that, she agreed, Ayah too. padahal ni perkara main main saja lah Ibu.

i ate Sakura yesterday. i still get discount and even free drinks. hahahah ! tengok uh si Kama. ni semue nak dikatekan nak amek hati aku alek keje pat sakura. well, most of the staff is new. the old staff, most of them resign or have been terminated. hmm ! biar kau rase kay Kama.

im craving for Macdonalds since Wednesday siol !

2009-10-23T10:36:00.001+08:00

EH KELEPEK, SKG KAU ADER HAL DGN AKU, KAU TRN ON SUNDAY AND TAKMU BANYAK BUNYI. KU TAKDE HAL DGN KAU, BUAT PE AKU NAK TRN KAU PEH KAMPUNG, SUNDAL AH. NO LIFE CAREK PASAL DGN PPN KAN BOH? SUNAT LAGI SKALI AH.

2009-10-21T01:41:00.003+08:00

LAU BETOL LU ADER BUTO, LU TAKKAN CAREK PASAL DGN PPN LAH SIAL ! NI LAH ZAMAN MATREP ! EH SIAL, 2009 DOH. LAMBAT AH MAU CAREK PASAL. MUKE AKU MACAM PEPEK KE CACAT KE, TAK SUSAH KAN MAK BAPAK KAU, HIDOP KAU, KAU PEH BUTO DAH CUKOP BAGOS AH DOH.

LU ADER HAL DGN WA PE .. JADI LU TRN BUKIT BATOK DAN TAKMU BANYAK BUNYI. LAU LU RASE LU TAKDE HAL, LU BOLEH BLAH DARI NI BLOG KAY. NI BLOG WA YANG PUNYE, WA PEH HAK. WA TAKDE GANGGU HIDUP LU, LU JANGAN NAK SEBOK SEBOK JAGE TEPI KAIN ORANG KAY BOH?

WA TAK SEDAR DIRI? EH WA SEDAR AH WA PPN ! SAPE YANG TAK SEDAR DIRI SKG? WA ATAU LU?! EH DOH, LU YANG TAK SEDAR DIRI DOH. SEDAR LAH SIKET YANG LU NI JANTAN KAY?! LU MAU CAREK PASAL DGN PPN KAN? LU POTONG LU PEH BUTO, DOK RUMAH, BESAR KAN PANTAT DAN TETEK, BUAT KEJE RUMAH & TAKYA SUSAH2 NAK KEJE.

WA PEH PUKI APER WA NAK BUAT DGN HIDUP WA. WA PEH PUKI APER WA NAK TYPE.

passerby is just a internet gangster.

who don't have the guts to put his name.

and oh, he say he is handsome.

oh god, what shameful shitzx you doing.

saying about yourself? come on.

get a life.

& oh, dig yourself a hole and buried.

thats tell you more about a stupid guy like you.

quarreling with a girl about my fucking look.

oh thank you for saying im Cacat.

im glad bcus atleast Casper love me now with what i am now (:

SORRY AH HANDSOME BRO, AKU TAK RESPECT KAU. FUCK OFF LAH DOH.

2009-10-19T12:29:00.004+08:00

so this is one of me and Casper picture. hahaha, he keep on asking Wak to snap picture for him. hmm well all the fun moments always last for awhile. i miss him so much now. everytime i wanna sleep, i will stare at his pictures and there it goes, my tears )': i still remember the times we quarrel, he will say " where is all your promises? " he's been treating me well. he's always there for me. he's always by my side showing love, care and concern. *tears*

Bie. i've promised Ibu to makesure you won't make a biggest stupid mistake like you did before this. & i guess, we stay as what we are now. in the future, if there's a girl who is better than me, go for it. i can't stop you from doing it. you need to move on with your life as you know that im not ready for any relationship. & i maseh ingat lagi yang i janji that i akan tempuhi segala dugaan dengan you. like i've told you before, kalau ader jodoh, ia takkan kemana (':

a fucking bad news, Big bro got arrested )': & he's on bail now. i can't say anything. bcus no point talk to him as he won't listen. so from now, whatever happens to him, i wont be bother to look into the matter. i'll keep my mouth shut from today onwards )': maybe i love my Big Bro too much )':

and to passerby,
senang cakap uh, kite meet up and talk things out kay. aku tak suke jadi internet gangster. kalau kau rase kau ader hal dengan aku, bbl depan aku. aku di lahirkan sempurna siol, takde cacat pon dalam diri aku. and aku sumpah, in the future, anak kau dilahirkan cacat. Amin~ memang lah aku tak tau muke kau macam maner, maner tau boh peng ke jogang ke kaki satu panjang satu pendek ke. sorry ah tersaketkan hati kau. jantan tak sedar diri, mengaku diri dier handsome. HAKPUI ! hahahhaha ! anyway boy, takde goyang eh?

OKAY, SUNDAY JUMPE AKU PAT BUKIT BATOK INT KUL 12! TUNGGU PAT DAERAH KEDAI SANE ! & JANGAN LAMBAT, NAMPAK AKU TEGUR. KITE TENGOK, SAPE YANG PAITAO KAY. & SUNDAY CALL AKU, 82327101. AKU AKAN MENANTI UNTOK KEHADIRAN KAU ON THAT DAY(:

2009-10-18T18:34:00.002+08:00

Blogger sucks to the core. really ! i can't upload me and Bby pictures since yesterday. im truly mad with it ! gaaaaaah ! but nevermind, i try to upload it by tomorrow. oh please blogger, i wanna upload my pictures. thank you.

Bby is already back to hostel. *tears* i miss baby. i took the same bus with Bby and family. when Bby going down the bus, i cry ! seriously, i can't let Bby go after 4 days spending time with him. he spend alot on me. i reject it but he scold me instead. (': i know he will be angry if i say NO on whatever he wanna buy for me.

Bby been treating me so good this days. yes, he admit to me he's treating me more than a TTM. and finally he admit that he's jealous when i became Adam's pillon. but he say, no point continue jealous if things wont changed. Bby, im only Adam's pillon okay and still im loving you.

i must move on with my life and must always have Bby in my heart. i can't bare to see him go far away from me. he knows that i love him. and will always love him. kan bby? im so looking forward for next Sunday. gosh.

today supposingly went out for Raya outing. bcus i didn't go bcus, one of my relative passed away & its a must to visit Atok ! & berkumpul same Bby's family (: gaaaaaaah ! i just love when Bby's always by my side.

&&&&&&& Atok is conscious. me and Bby went in to the ICU ward & Atok already opened his eyes. yes, i saw tears rolling down his cheeks. i know he suffered alot right now. Atok, recover soooon ! i wanna see Atok happy macam dulu (: i hold back my tears when i see Atok.

2009-10-18T00:12:00.002+08:00

been spending time with Bby so much. yes, i love spending time with him. the laughter we share. shitzx. but like i told you before, happiness always last for awhile. time passed so fast, today evening, Bby is going back to hostel. & i gonna miss everything about him.

& he kept snapping lots of pictures. like so sudden tau. & oh, yesterday i did visit Atok ! i was about to burst into tears bcus i really pity Atok with what he suffer right now. all i could is to pray for Atok to be conscious and recovered soon. the last time i see Atok is on Bby's court. i still remember Atok make jokes about Bby. hais ! i know Bby is worried about Atok and slalu pikeran about Atok when Bby nak masok alek. Bie, like u said, pray hard for Atok (': insyallah, everything is gonna be fine.

i've dyed my hair blonde but i wanna dye abit darker back. bcus i know it sucks okay ! k done, i wanna to go to sleep. Bby is asleep already. and have to wake up early in the morning to meet Bby ! I Love You (:

will post the photos that Bby snapped soon.

2009-10-16T09:31:00.002+08:00

Yesterday after work, cabbed to Bukit Batok to meet Casper. He got homeleave till Sunday. I was so happy after 2weeks plus never see his face. BACIN ! He changed alot. Sekarang dah kuat merajuk, macam ppn gytu. & now, i dont know what happen. Since yesterday night he didn't even call me up. When he online, like so sudden he say he wanna offline bcus he's bored? hais. Whatever lah. I bet he won't be calling me today )':

semalam keje punya lah boring. aper tidak, kaki gerek kebanyakkan tak keje. ader jugak kaki gerek, tapi sombong je semue. hmph ! k tak sabar nak keje next week. this weekends off, aper tidak. nak klua, pokai dok. might as well keje. dapat tips jugak. hehe.

so i guess, im falling in love.
but we'll see him in the future if he's true enough.
i'm not putting hopes (:

2009-10-15T01:38:00.002+08:00

i just came back from super late supper with colleagues, myself, Adam, Liyana, Liyana's bf, Andi, Liza, Liza's husband, Susan & Muhammad at Al-Azhar. after work, went to Bukit Timah by bike. hehe, i became Adam's pillion. wah sey, first time sia. hmm.

before that, get changed at locker room. Liza and Denniza keep on disturb me about me and Adam. bcus at work, when having lunch, smoke or go anywhere else, Adam will ask me along. then i was like, " eh korang, aku tak suke Adam lah, stop kacao aku. " hahaha. seriously siaaaa.

so i got irritated (:

2009-10-14T11:47:00.000+08:00

wont be updating much. busy working.

and oh, Kama force me to work at sakura again.

i've made up my mind to quit(:

Friday doh, kul 4pm. hahhaa.

just hope i never work on tht day.

i tak sabar nak jumpe Casper !

2009-10-10T18:48:00.002+08:00

im busy lately, bcus of N level. but! im done with national exams. hahha, now i can hurray hurray like one mad girl already. hahahah ! next week tak jadi pegi club as i dont wanna waste my money. its much more better to use the money to buy something which is more useful (: yes, i never update for so long. not that long, but just few days. and lots of things happen. either bad or good, it sucks okay?

on the 7 Oct, i was getting a drink for myself as i had my late dinner really late at night. time shows, it already past 12mid. i went into the kitchen to take my favourite glass. i wash it and then without hitting anything, the glass broken into pieces. i was so shocked. i wondered. i ran everywhere in the house, everybody's was fine. i messaged my frens, they are fine too. suddenly i thought of Casper. and i started to get so stressed up. im too worried about him. i tried to calm myself. after im done with my dinner, i straight away when to sleep.

so the following day, 8 Oct, after came back from study with frens, i went in my room and switch on the laptop. as i wanna play Sims. out of sudden, one of my toes, i felt something is piercing tru my skin when i checked, i felt so shocked bcus a small piece of broken glass is poking tru my skin. i thought again about Casper. then i went to sleep.

9th Oct is when my last paper. i went out with frens to Far East Plaza, as she wanted to rebond her hair. so skalian lah aku pegi check schedule. and know what? last min i gotta know i have to work. and im so pissed off bcus none of them inform me. fuckit~ i went to Cafe side to talk awhile with makcik. Kama came and talk to me. we quarrel but half way tru, as one of his staff called him. i was so mad so i decided not to give a fuck to them. after everything was done, we wanted to walk to wisma. we passby Hyatt Hotel and that is when i saw my cousin who is working there. and she say, they need Door Girl. so i agreed with it. heh, i have to come back for interview the next day. while walking to wisma, Bby called me.

Me: Hello Bie.
Him: Hello Bie. Eh Bie, im not coming back this sun.
Me: Wtf? why?
Him: i got confinement.
Me: what happen bie?
Him: gado.
Me: About?
Him: when we meet, i tell you kay sayang?
Me: okay sayang. eh bie, kawan you semue menggatal dgn i.
Him: ki mak drg ah, takpe2. i klua kite bbl kay.
Me: okay.
Him: bie, next fri jumpe pat BB at 12noon.
Me: oh yes ! cancan. hehe.
Him: okay lah, be there at 12noon tau.
Me: Iyer sayang.. i love you bie.
Him: i love you too. bye !

and yes, whatever happens, its all related to Bby. he fight with people inside and thats why i could feel something not right.

and oh, ive resign from Sakura Cuisine. manager drg besar peh pukimak tau tak. and ive got that job at Hyatt ! yes ah. kla, bye !

2009-10-05T14:28:00.002+08:00

4 more days to last paper for N Level.

4 more days to the day i start to enjoy.

6 more days to meet Casper !

wah sial lah, enjoy cukop2 ah aku this time. macam dunia terbalik siak. hahahha, well, ive been saving up my money for 18 Oct. ader event sioool. i dont wanna miss out this time as ive missed alot of times ! i need cash badly to find outfit for that day. god damn it !

& sorry Bby, its not that im enjoying myself when you were inside. but i need to do something which kills my boredom without you. you know that i always looking forward for the day to meet up with you. & Bie, aku rindu kau sesangat ni. macam nak pegi pat hostel kau siaaak. brr! and yea, dont forget give me alot of surprise call kay bie? hahhaa, you know that i love you.

Note: Ika and Ar-Rauf Hanya Teman Biasa Yang Cukup Mesra Kay?

Paham ngak? Ngak paham, pergi terjun ya. cb.

kay lah, tmr Maths paper, gonna siap2 and study with My Beloved Honey (:

2009-10-03T19:39:00.003+08:00

On 2 Oct At 2228hours;
Received a call from Bukit Batok Hostel.
Of cus it is from Bby ! hehe.

Me: Hello Bby ! B, imy !
Him: Hello Bie, imyt, i can't talk for long.
Me: hmm oh okay, but imy. hehe.
Him: Bie, next week Sunday i klua.
Me: alamak, next week Sunday? ader club sia.
Him: eh nak enjoy kan, pegi, takmu jumpe aku.
Me: wtf? eh no, next two weeks ader club.
Him: sedap enjoy ah kau.
Me: *mangkok face*
Him: How are you Bie?
Me: Im fine sayang.
Him: kay lah bie, dah takde time.
Me: eh b, wait, imy.
Him: imyt sayang.
Me: eh b..
Him: aper lagi? takde time.
Me: i love you.
Him: i love you too.

dah letak pon, hehe. tak sabar sioool.

2009-10-01T12:21:00.003+08:00

I guess i won't be blog properly till Casper's out.

cume blog important things or short post je.

tengok lah mood eh.

and yes, N level next week.

i must wake myself up !

And Doh, Study Doh !

Well GoodLuck for all the N Level Takers. (:

2009-10-01T01:27:00.008+08:00

sial peh betina ! mau casper amek ah sial !

msn bbl banyak, puik !

weyyyy, pikeran abes sia ni macam. susah datang pe?! ni semue terletak pat tangan Casper ah. kau datang pat aku and cakap Casper matae kau. orang datang pat aku and cakap aku matae Casper and thats what Casper bilang orang? pukiwaaaak. eh takpe ah, lagi 2 minggu je kay. kite tunggu sampai Casper klua. and im sure i will talk things out !

aku bohsia? aku sundal? eh ppn, abeh kirekan kau banyak peh good ah doh? gado pat msn, takde life ah girl. aper2 terjadi between aku dgn Casper and aku dgn Chucky kau tau? eh sial ah, get the fact right first doh. kire kan kau jage tepi kain aku? and kau cakap kau tak jage? pukiweeek, lu banyak peh talk ah girl. aku tak pakse kau tinggal kan Casper, tapi kau yang nak tinggal kan. semue orang tau aku dengan Casper kawan. macam sial peh ppn !

lu bbl baek2? eh lu isap lu peh puki dalam dalam dulu baru lu bleh cakap lu bbl baek2 kay. dengar2 cikgu aku kate, bbl baek2 tu kutok mengutok, panggil orang macam2 name ah. eh ku bbl dengan kau, ku takde cakap gytu macam doh. kau kutok, aku kene kan alek. sui pah?

aku stakat tanye kau matae dier pe? part kau tanye pasal aku dengan Casper, non stop hits siol. eh ppn, kau pegi kenal Chucky lebih dalam dulu eh? aku rase aku sacrifice lebih banyak untok Chucky dari kau sacrifice untok Casper doh. lu nak continue jadi internet power, go on ahh siuul. wa takda hal ah kay. aku jumpe Casper, aku takde hegeh2 nye nak tanye ni bende.

jangan nanti Casper bilang aku, kau shiok sendiri sudah whyyyye ! ni macam peh matae pon ader. lau betul kau matae dier, kiwak, asal kau tak tau siak dier pat hostel? aku nak tengok uh, dier dah dapat homeleave ke time off, dier carek kau ke tak. aper jadi dengan dier semue, aku tau lah whyyye. sebab aku slalu ader dengan dier. eh kalau betol dier attached, asal siul dier mati2 nak amek aku alek keje, kasi barang dier pat aku semue.

eh dah lah, wa malas ah nak gado pasal jantan, aku cukop geram ah kau panggil aku gytu macam eh girl. aku YP ke perangai kau YP. harap kan 20 years old, perangai kalah kan YP. sial ah, kau dah tue kutok gytu, carek ah orang yang nak sehidup semati dengan kau. aku rase Chucky pon suit untok kau ahhh. abeh kau lagi nak dengan budak YP macam Casper buat aper. dier maseh mau enjoy lah girrrrl. eh dah lah, lu take care sua.

2009-09-29T16:42:00.002+08:00

i just realised that i've been giving school amiss for two weeks solid oi ! well, i have to wake up right now, as few more days to N level ! i have to stop sleeping late already. well, i guess, only friday i will be going to school. serious shit. grr !

hmm, i was shocked when someone told me that he tells her that he love me so much? i dont know that he would tell people that. as i thought, he is someone who flirting around happily. im not putting names. bcus it could be anyone who is around me. grr !

i miss Bby Casper so much. well, now, i tried to move on with my life. so that time could fly faster until the day Bby get homeleave. sumpah, i can't wait for the day. i wanna spend my time with Bby. hahaha. he knows that i love him so much. hehe. andand, i know he will be worried about me. well Bby, i know how to take good care of myself okay? mwah !

should i start going to school tomorrow? im lazy !

aku happy lah doooh !

2009-09-28T12:36:00.002+08:00

aku happy. very very happy. hahhaa, early in the morning i got a surprise call by Bby. hahhaa, he's at Bukit Batok Poly. weee! and i told him i wanna meet him, then he ask me to faster go and get ready. cabbed there. hehe.

Bie, kau macam toyol doh. hahaha, well. Bby botak already. hahhaa. but i still love him. Bby angry with me cus i say he looks like toyol. HAHAH! even we spend time with each other for a short time, its really fun oi. he and his stupid jokes. one thing wont miss out, he will pinch me; kuncu kuncu nye dier kasi. geram dooooh.

Casper: eh bie, kau pesan pat Chucky, hal aku dgn dier blom settle lagi, aku maseh geram dier maki mak aku siul bie, tunggu ah aku dapat homeleave ke time off, aku carek mesti carek punye lah, aku geram sak bie. lagi lagi badan aku dah besar ehhh.

see, it wont solve okay between them. what i know, i wont masok campur. thats got nothing to do with me. me and Chucky has end the relationship. all bcus i can't stand his attitude. all he could say " i thought we end already? " so i give in and say, " we end already. " the day before his birthday, i left him. so yesterday was his biggest day. i never regret okay. he wanted it so i grant it (: Kak Nor is happy when at last i get to leave him stupid brother. bcus she knows how much i suffer when im with him. and oh, back to the story.

Bby asked me to log in tagged, but stupid sia, password tak kasi. budoh kau bie. HAHHA! well, the happiness only last for awhile. and he's back to hostel. gosh, im gonna miss him again. before he went in his hostel, he gave me a kiss. and i get to hug and kiss him too! bie, cepat ah homeleave doh. hehe. i wanted to cry but, i tried to be strong. I Love You Bie !

bila bila..
(A) R - RAUF (P) UNYA (K) EKASIH !

Casper Kia Feichi !

2009-09-27T23:50:00.002+08:00

this picture shows that, i'm so happy that i could smile widely today. serious shit! hahaha. i can't describe how happy am i just now. well, my mum asked me to wash up as Nenek is coming my house. so after washed up, i went into my room. and oh, my phone, got a miss call, i dont recognise that number. and again, the number called and its a guy.

Me: Hello?
Him: Hello Bby, its me, Casper.
Me: omg, Bby? *tears* bie, i rindu you sak.
Him: shhh, eh bie, nakmu nangis lah sayang.
Me: cam ne tak nangis? i risau tau bie. *tears*
Him: dah dah, takmu nangis lah sayang. how are you bie?
Me: im fine sayang, that day lepas alek court, i saket sia bie.
Him: dah okay dah skg?
Me: alhamdulilah, dah sihat. bby, i rindu you sak.
Him: i rindu you lebih siul. eh bie, badan i dah makin besar.
Me: eh? hahhaa, bedek sak.
Him: betol, tunggu ah chucky. hahaha.
Me: ahh~ skati kau bie.
Him: how you and Chucky?
Me: dah break.
Him: when?
Me: yesterday.

and so on, i cry all the way until we put down the phone, serious shit, he keep on asking me not to cry, like he used to. happy giler babi siak. aku happy, sampai semue bende aku lupe. hahaha, asek dengan diri aku je. pastu asek tgk2 hp, bab Casper call, mengejutkan siuuul. dah letak, aleh2 dier call alek.

he say when he got homeleave on the fourth week, he wants me to follow his parents fetch him. yes, i did called his mum, but she say they dont allowed. and its not she dont want but that is what law says. gosh, i cant wait, two more weeks. hahahha. i miss Bby siul !

2009-09-26T14:58:00.005+08:00

I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY! I MISS CASPER BBY!

i dreamt about Bby last night. it was a good news. its like, he gotten 18months probation. gosh, thats only a dream, i really miss him. i dont really sleep well last night. im used to it with him around. time please move faster! i wanna meet Bby once again.

Casper Court day

2009-09-25T22:21:00.003+08:00

ignore the guy on the left and focus on Casper Bby!

i did attend Casper Bby's court. met him early in the morning. imagine i woke up 0630am which like i woke up for school. but i don't even wish to delay time. so i quickly bathe and get ready. by 0730am i''m out of the house. its like im in a rush. but im too early! heh. cus i know Bby will be angry with me if i'm late as Atok is there also. waited for Bby at last cabin. trained down to ChinaTown. reached there at 0810am. so we walked to Sub court. all the way i walk with Bby. he never leave me alone at all. reached court, met his frens and Daddy Casper!

COURT 6! hais, then they called, " Muhammad Ar - Rauf " he got his sentence, 12 months Hostel and 8 months probation. i wanna holding back my tears. went out of the court and he wanted to smoke awhile. while sapsapsaaap, he keep on asking why im sad and all. i hugged him and i burst into tears. really, i dont wanna loose Bby. he keep on asking me to stop crying. he coax me.

up to court 6, waited for the lady outside court 6. Bby came to me and whispered at my ear " Bie, promise me to wait for me. go tru everything together till i discharge. " and he kissed me. damn, sweet giler nye, i can't really hold back my tears. i was sososososo touch okay. and yes, 3 weeks. time please move faster, i wanna meet Bby! hais.

went down to the first level. so i thought of making a move before he did. hais, i looked at him and told him that im going off. i hugged him and he kiss me at my lips. i walk off without turning behind bcus i am crying! so that was the last moments, kiss, huggies, touch.

nampak tu lambang pat dalam gambar pat atas tu?
bila bila .. (A) r - Rauf (P) unya (K) ekasih !

Dearest;

bie, aku sanggop tunggu kan kau. walaupun kite hanye sebulan bersame, kau banyak ubah hidup aku. kau dah buat macam macam untok aku. thank you so much. aku nak bayar alek semue, kau tak kasi. b, kau lindung aku selame ni. kau manje kan aku. kau slalu berade disisiku. maaf kan aku kalau aku ader kecewe kan kau, saket kan hati kau ke aper. thank you so much for fetching me from work, sanggop kau korban kan pape untok aku. really, aku appreciate everything before or after you're gone. b aku harap kau ingat ni sentence. kite saling ber janji satu same laen. " promise each other that we won't leave each other no matter whut. " i still remember the day i bilang you yang i dont need you. and you said that sentence. really, i dont wanna loose you. i wanna always be with you. Bby, I Love You So Much Okay?

Your Little Baby Rascal;
ikastar Jeponzxz.

2009-09-24T01:41:00.002+08:00

takkan ku kehilangan mu untuk kali kedua.
bie, you're the best TTM ever.
you filled every sec, min, hours and days of my life with love.
where should i go if you're gone?
*tears*
tetap satu satu nya..
A r-Rauf P unya K ekasih !

2009-09-19T00:05:00.002+08:00

abes ah, ni malam jadi ah, Casper dan Chucky.
aku takmu cakap, aku pon kene.
Shitzxz dooooh!
Eh Chuck! Lu buat kecoh ah doh!

2009-09-17T15:04:00.002+08:00

he like cannot find other girls gytu. he kept entering my life again and again even though he wanted to go separate ways. i know he can't really let go of me. yes, he contacted with girl(S) bcus i got a ttm. thats so much different okay? suddenly he's being so good to me, but sorry B, i wont makan your words anymore. bcus i know its full of lie.

i guess, the girl(S) dont want him anymore? hmm Casper Dearest is still my beloved ttm but Chucky is still my number one! aku utama kan dia dari kekawan ku, Namun, dia utama kan kekawan nya dari aku. see, it happens the opposite way. but yea, if its true we are meant for each other, insyaallah we can last and im not putting high hopes for this relationship anymore.

i love you Halif.

2009-09-16T18:32:00.001+08:00

oh yes ahhhhhhhhhh~ i've end the love with Chucky. im the one who asked for it. i seriously can't take it any longer. yes, at first he ask, i accept but again he's back. and this continue until today. at 11pm i gave him a message by saying we end everything. im really sick and tired of love. and im moving on okaaaaaayyyyyyy?! heh.

so im loving my life right now. but one thing, i need kachings to top up for my prepaid! nabey cb. eh whaaaaat! tmr is F&N and i still havent finish study. still got the time to chat, blog. wah good lah ika, i love you uh ika. hahahha. wth? k done.

good night everyone! (:

2009-09-15T11:07:00.003+08:00

ahhhh~ Chemistry paper SCREWED! i only done doing the mcq and the rest were left blank? wtf? still blame on me sleeping at 2am? woke up for sahur and slept again at 4am? gosh, im really tired doh. woke up at 7 and ready for school. grr!

i get jealous when i see couples pass me. how i wish, Chucky changed and love me like he used to? gah! i have to move on right now. Chucky is already busy with his life and he's forgetting im his Lover. but i when i say that, he say " sape lupe sape? " damn it sia. aku jugak kene.

well, i have to accept the fact, he's not into me anymore. i guess, it fades. but why he dont wanna let me go? its better. grr. no point i cry for him. he wont change! should i talk to him face to face? or should i just concentrate with what i have now? well, ibu wants me to concentrate with what i have now. bcus she doesn't really like Chucky bcus of his behaviour right now. and suddenly he's change and never respect Ibu like he used to.

SO IKA, MOVE ON WITH YOUR FUCKING LIFE!

2009-09-15T00:35:00.003+08:00

its me and big bro, yes, he's sweet at times. still i love my big bro too. heh (:

i received a miss call from love. so i called back, and a girl pick up.

me: Hello Dear?
girl: Eh ppn! aper kau nak?
me: huh? kau sape plak?
girl: kau tak perlu tau aku sape.
me: aik? aku matae chucky siul.
girl: takd, aku ppn dier, kau nak aper call2 chucky?
me: kau dgn dier bape lame?
girl: takya tau.
me: eh sial, kalau betol kau ppn chucky, blg ah bape lame.
girl: tak perlu ah kau nak tau.
me: eh aku dgn chucky dah 3 bulan lebeh.
girl: aku dgn chucky dah 3 tahun.
me: oh so kau myra?
girl: eh takya amek tau lah myra ke sape.
me: kau pesan pat chucky, thanks. tc.

i put down the phone with a tears. really, i give up. after few minutes, chucky gave me a miss call. and i was like, why the hell he called back? i was curious, so i called. if i know, i should ignore the phone call. gaaaah.

him: eh B maen2 je lah.
me: fuckyou. (:
Hairi: Ika, dah lah takmu nangis, maen2 je lah.
me: not a funny thing eh please.
him: dah lah B. later i call you kay.
me: dah bye.

seriously, i thought it was real. i dont even expect that to happen. he wanted to prank me saje. and its really not funny. for the second time he do it, for sure i wont be trusting it again. so i hate this kind of things to happen. i really wanted to let go of you but you refused. hais!

i need to go off and study for Chemistry but i have to sleep soon, if not, Casper and Bruce will go mad at me. hahaha, cus will be having Chemistry prelims later on (: meeting Chucky in the evening i guess, if im not tired. okay done, Good night babies!

2009-09-14T15:45:00.000+08:00

now, he's back in my life again? after awhile, he's gone? then again he's back? now quarrel. i didn't start it. he is the one wanting it to happen. but i will be patience after all. tapi sampai biler? im still staying strong even though he hurts me so deeply. yes, i love him no matter what. but at times, i really have to give up with this relationship. i can't take it any longer.

day by day, things get challenging. especially about love. Chucky is getting more strict, mean and rude. but i have to bare with it. he will be fine after a while. i will start listen to his words and no more being rude to him. showing him some respect. and have to be nice to him(: he is a kind of guy like so fragile.

i know, you guys must be wondering why i still turn back to him even though he hurt me deep inside. i can't deny it, i love him so much. he's like part of my life. only 3 months being together, we gone tru alot. its like we're together for years. i just hope, one day, he realised how much i meant to him. i miss him. but i dont wana meet him. bcus im not ready to see his face yet. but after all, nothing can change my love for him. and i hope, i could be the one make a big surprise for his birthday which is next week. what should i buy for him? what must i do? grr.

Alip Sayang,
Walau macam maner burok you, tetap i sayang. macam kite berjanji dulu. kite sesame taknak tinggal kan satu same laen. kite berjanji, aper2 dugaan harus kite tempuh, kite akan tempuh bersame. cinta i, tetap untok satu orang je, and thats you.

The Love Of Him.

2009-09-12T14:11:00.003+08:00

On 27 June 2009, Saturday, its exactly a week i've broke up with Alanto. At that point of time, i seriously dont wanna fall in love. I'm tired of hurting. Hais. All in my mind is to work work and work. I promise Ibu and Ayah that i will help them and wont disappoint them. That day, i end work late. and enjoy with working frens. Especially Kama, my manager. Since i'm single, he keep on disturbing me. I joke around with Kama before i walk to the bus stop. and its time for me to go, Kama gave me ciggies, then i walk to bus stop. there's this group of guys, walk behind me and disturb me. a guy approach me and say someone wants my number. so i give. and he message while i off back home. that's the guy names; Chucky.

The next day, i start work at 12 and end at 5pm. Chucky told me that he wanna fetch me from work but he overslept. he forced me to take taxi to his house and he pay. at that time, sanggop lah dier. CB. that time i get to know, Kak Nor, Abang Syah and Hairi. its 8pm already, we took bus 7 to Clementi. as he need to go back Ayer Rajah Camp. inside the bus, he told me that he wanna be my bf. speechless and no answer. at 12mid then i say i accept. he caught my heart. fuck.

From there, as the day goes by, we're getting closer, happy together and i forget when the first time i met Baby Haziq. we gone through thick and thin together. yes, i love him alot. i bought him alot of things without thinking twice. A month being with Chucky was a most memorable thing. he's sweet, manje, super loving and caring!

On 9 August, Sunday, he spoiled my plan, my day with Baby Girls! last minute he dont wanna go out. i dont mind going out without him. but wth? he called me and forced me to go back Whampoa house. i was mad like shit, i cry infront of many peoples. hais, no choice, took taxi and off to Whampoa house. he pay it. at 10pm, i wanted to go home, he draw out cash and force me to take taxi home. so i agreed cus he pay, i went to fetch Baby Girl semue then slacked at Clementi(: reached home at 12mid.

11 August, Tuesday is went i asked to go separate ways. bcus he getting too much lah okay? he begged me not to go, but i refused so i go. i got my minds relax for 4 days. yes, it's fun without him bcus i can do whatever i want.

15 August, Saturday, after end work, he messaged his sister and say that he miss me. i was so touched. his sister work with me at Sakura. i changed my mind to message me. still my words hurt him and he cry. hais. the next day, i patched up with him and i met him at Whampoa house bcus Haziq is there.

the happiness last only for 10 days. and again everything turn sour on 25 August, Tuesday. again we broke up. macam what sia. Second month is when we patch up again and oh, he awol. so that is his present for me. nbcb. starting second month, everything turns sour till today. wth siaaaaak!

but things get worst on Monday or Tuesday night. i forget. he left me alone and make his fren much more important than me. seriously, i have to walk at the dark areas alone. i cry all the way until i reached home at 12plus. from there he learn not to pick up my phone calls and never reply my msg.

Wednesday supposingly have to meet him but i already got plan since last week to go out with frens and teachers. CHucky say no so yea, i never go out. but he start to become macam satu peh perangai, i went out to meet Casper. slacked for awhile, then go home. he's mad, then he's out to Mustafa and Adam rd till next day.

I did meet up with him next day. spend time by sleeping je. then cukop time, go home. thats all. when i reached home, i never msg or call cus he's tired, i dont wanna disturb. then suddenly i received a message from him. then from there, he start i ignore everything about me. from 2 am till 12 noon i call non stop. i try to find way to contact him.

i guess yesterday was the last meet up and last kiss and last moments with him. he's too much? hais. i went out and spend the day with Ros and her bf. how i hope i spend the nights with the one i love. okay forget it. then i received a message by Chucky..

" eh sial kao tak tk asl ako tknk kao sbb kao pena maen ngn casper kn..sial bdh2kn ako.. "

i was shocked, speechless and whatsoever. i asked him to find evidence then we break up. until now, he gone missing without left anything behind. so i told Casper about this, he's not mad but he is craving for Chucky's ____ and _____. so goodluck to Chucky for accusing me until like that.

like so atlast, i give up with him.

Alip, thanks eh untok sayang kan aku selame due bulan due minggu dan satu hari. aku appreciate the days with kau. Selamat Tinggal~

2009-09-11T12:09:00.002+08:00

after two months and two weeks, it going to end.
everything shows how much im being patience with a guy who dont know how to appreciate others.
yes, i still can smile widely right now.
bcus i know im not in the wrong.
& gotten a message with kekek sia.
will post again later okay? (:

2009-09-09T00:30:00.002+08:00

SAPE SAK YANG BIKEN CASPER ?!?!?!?!
AKU RISAO RABAK SIAK DENGAN DIER.
TETBE AKU BANGON TDO CUS AKU MACAM TAK SEDAP HATI.
DAPAT TAU CASPER KENE BIKEN.
SAPE SAPE BIKEN CASPER;
KORANG TAKDE BODEK AH.
BUTO PEH YP!

I Give Up With Love.

2009-09-08T00:43:00.002+08:00

satu dalam seribu, hanya Muhammad Halif Bin Hamzah yang aku cinta. Tapi asal aku maseh terhegeh hegeh dengan orang yang takkan pernah appreciate aku?

2009-09-07T13:35:00.003+08:00

i've been spending lots of time with Boyfren. & yes, i love him so much. seriously, when he hug me tightly, i felt so safe. i scared to lose him right now. bcus my hearts say something not right gonna happen and i have to be prepared for everything. hais!

i give up with life. thank you Casper Dearest for being the best listener. i wont be updating till everythings back to normal. take care babies!

aku Sayang Muhammad Halif Bin Hamzah sampai bila bila.

2009-09-02T14:57:00.003+08:00

confirm ya'll wonder why i upload this picture. from left is Shrek, Adi & my Big Bro, Wawan. i miss Shrek craziness as i can still remember he make my day on my birthday. that is when i just get to know Shrek. he's like my laughing gas. everytime we meet, we will confirm quarrel with each other. hahaha. then we make jokes together.. hahaha. Kak Ina, still remember that guy in blue? hahhaa. teringat sia kisah lame.

i regret going to school today. like shit, i never even study anything. at first, everyone asking why am i so happy and i dont know why. it just that im happy. hmm, but my day turn shagged when Bloody Chucky start to quarrel with me. oh! im so lazy. he will be detained for 10 days. yes, im happy as freedom for 10 days. BUT! i will still miss him. no matter what, he's my boyfren!

and yea, im a little bit mad with Casper. he bought me top up card twice. gosh! really, i dont like to use guys money. please please, stop kay Dear? later i meet you, i bite your head off. ahahha. well, Bloody Chucky di bodoh bodoh kan oleh aku. hahhaa, long story!

and i got shocking news. Along & Yan Pop Dah Putos Tunang. pukitiang! aku takot siak Yan Pop carek aku. kiwaaaaaaaak, first name je, dier dah tanye pasal Ros, then Kenet. wth~ aku doa doa kan yang dier tak carek aku. tapi lau dier tetap carek jugak, Casper come to the rescue! hahaha.

okay now waiting for Casper wake up and getting ready to work already.
im early for work because i'm bored at home Alone.

2009-09-02T01:33:00.001+08:00

wah shit, its already 2 AM and im still wide awake?! hahaha. will be going to school tomorrow but before that, Maybe will be meeting Bloody Chucky. gosh, hope i can wake up early. if i sleep. hmm, i guess i will be happy kid today. i dont know why i talk lots of rubbish to Casper and Apon. hahaha. they know i'm happy. kan kan? hahaha.

but i dont know why im happy. HAHAHHA! Apon is mad at me bcus aku lawan cakap dier. eh aper aku kesah ah doh. kau peh pasal ah nak mengamok. hahaha. he lecture me from a to z. dier nak step maner peh teacher entah. hahaha. takpe lah abang, tetap adek kau yang tersayang hahaha.

so yes, Next week N level. CB siak. very fast siol! no confidence abes sia. abes ah Casper. your paikia speaking your style already. huuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaak! dier paikia, dier nak cakap orang. debik eh. dah lah nak step maner nye ikakia punye budak. jalan daaaaaah~ hahhaa.

IM BORED!.

2009-08-29T11:24:00.002+08:00

Dear Halif

From bottom of my heart, I wanna say that I really love you. I can't bare to lose you in any ways. It's only two months and we have gone through so many hurtings, tears together. All the quarrels bring us more closer but no! It turns out to go separate ways. I shed tears when I heard the word break. Yes, we did break but it only last not more than 3 days. And we're back together.

I tak tau aper lagi nak cakap, you awol bcus of me. And sekarang, you have to go DB. You tinggal kan i sorang sorang. Sape nak show the love to me? I will miss the time when i'm with you. I rindu sangat sangat dengan Muhammad Halif.

Dd, maafkan kesilapan I terhadap you. Jage diri you baek baek biler you pat dalam. I janji yang I akan tunggu you. I janji yang I akan setia pade satu, and that's you! I tak akan lupekan you walau macam maner pon. Kerana, mane maner I pegi, you akan selalu berade di hati I dan ingatan I. And I'm sorry for not being a bestest girlfren.

Remember this and always, I always love you with all my heart.

Love,
Ika Liyana.

----------------------------------------------------------------

aku keseorangan lagi. I Love You Muhammad Halif.

2009-08-28T13:47:00.002+08:00

i've been so busy now a days and lots of problems i have to face now. how i wish i can just live my life on my own. im tired with quarrels and whatever things happening. gosh! stress stress stress. this few days, i keep on crying without anyone lending me a shoulder to cry on as i dont wish to share anything to anyone. hais!

so i'm back with Bloody Chucky. truely, i miss him so much. all the hug and kisses. shitzx! he's not back to his NS camp until today? another stress. gaaaaaaaaah! berat betol dugaan yang harus ku tempuhi. i dont wish that he will be inside DB. but i can't do anything, he have to go in. i dont know where is he now. Dd, dont make me worry for you? *tears*

gaaaaaaah, red bestfren is here. a fun day turns to be shagged one. gah! so i wont be fasting.. and oh, i go irritated when people around look at me and say " eh ika tak puase siak. " tolong lah, jangan jage tepi kain orang. its my problem lah. hais!

pray hard that i can go for Prom Night. i really really wanna go! hais. $65 where to find? stupid. few days more to salary day. but last day of paying the Prom Night is 31 Aug. gosh! whatever it is, i have to get everything settled by Monday. brr.

Thank you Casper Dearest for topping up my phone. and i really appreciate that. i will pay you back once i get my salary! i Love you ttm.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST MUHAMMAD AR-RAUF!
you know that you Little Rascal love you to the fullest! even though we're only frens. hahaha. i wanna meet up with you again and we talk nonsense kay. Casper love to talk to himself when i never layan his craps. hahaha.

2ND ANNI, IKACHUCKY.
Dd, i dont wish to have another break up. and you know that i love you more that what you thought. loving you is like loving everything. yes, you make me feel upset.if that way will make you change to be a better person, then i hope when you're out, you will change yourself. prove it to me that you deserve to be loved. I Love You Muhammad Halif.

its end of me and Muhammad Halif.

2009-08-25T21:39:00.003+08:00

today i missed puasa again. all thanks to Chucky. he make me cry + blurp out all the vulgarities. i tried control myself, but i can't. yes, he asked for break before he go back to Ayer Rajah Camp. i was so angry. they reasons is bcus i dont have time for him? hais. he never understand me. my family is having Financial now. what if one day i've been sacked? hais. i need to help my family. i have to support me by hook or by crook. after that, we're back to normal. i thought everything will get better, but no, he bring up the matter again. he's not happy bcus blurp out vulgar at him. he still wanna fight for his rights, so i say, its better we end.

still i cry for him till now. i still need Chucky like i used to. but i need him to understand me and my life right now. i wont be having time for him bcus i need to spend my life with family. bcus they are much important then him. gaaaaaah!

thanks Casper Dearest and Efah Sayang for being there when i need someone to talk to. they are only the ones that i have. they are the ones that i can talk to. i know they can't be there for me 24/7 especially Casper Dearest. thanks for the advise. Dearest, i hope i can be strong to face everything! Casper and Efah, i won't forget both of you, cus ya'll understand me the best!
I Love You Both.

i need my family to be back happy like last time.

I WANT MUHAMMAD HALIF.

Muhammad Ar-Rauf & Muhammad Halif.

2009-08-24T18:13:00.004+08:00

i feel so down. bcus, Casper's court day! i rush down to shop while on the way to school just to buy prepaid card and message Casper early in the morning. he's sweet like sugar. and the clock strikes 0920hours and we have to stop messaging as by 0930 he got his sentence. when i read the last message from him, i cry. but at that point of time, i got the feeling that he will be back. i dont know..

at 1100hours SHARP! i receive a message which from his number. and i was wishing that it will be Casper. but no, Daddy message saying that he's sentence for 2 years RTC. i cried. so i replied saying that i will miss him. turns out, it is not Daddy message, Casper! gosh. im happy and i felt relief that he got probation. and i hope next court, they approve the report. i dont wanna be separate with my beloved bestest fren, Casper.

so this is what we promise. next week, we're out ramai ramai with my frens. me and Casper planned to shop together. hahahaa! now can spend more time with Casper. hahaha. i've told you, he's the best ever TTM, haahaha.

of cus not forgetting about my Bloody Chucky! even though we often quarrels, but still we love each other. yes, we did go separate ways before. bcus you were too much at that point of time. you make an effort to ask your own sister about me when we were working. i was hiding the tears which supposedly to be roll down. i know how much you love me. but then i can't accept the way you treat me previous time. i need to be alone to think everything carefully. so i guess i've make a right decision to give you a chance bcus i still love you no matter what. you did promise that you will changed and prove it to my parents that you worth their trust. i hope its not empty promises.

i love you Muhammad Halif.

I Dont Wish To Lose My Parents In Any Ways.

2009-08-23T01:59:00.006+08:00

so now, i guess a proper post. im hoping my mind won't go blank in a sudden. after sahur, i can't go back to sleep and im still widely awake till now. wth? really, it's only 1512hours. and im seriously hungry, and i can't stand it. shitzxz.

new skin like so atlast i changed. hahaha. maybe i will stick to this skin for about few months? im totally lazy to change blogskin now unlike last time. heeeeeeeeh! well, blogger is getting boring but i still love blogger then onsugar and wordpress.

supposely to meet Bloody Chucky today. but we had some arguments. just bcus Ibu and Ayah not happy that im always out with Bloody Chucky every Sunday. its the only perfect day to meet up with him. hais! seriously, its been a week since last i meet him. and yea, now i can go out, but where is he? he never reply any of my msg and never pick up my call? hais. tengah puase puase gini, aku kene marah dengan Chucky. tak ke sedey ke tuuu. hais.

Baby Haziq should be back at Whampoa house but naaah. Bloody Chucky keep on calling his ex's Mum. no one pick up. sedey pe! well, his Papa and Mama miss him. haiya! 6 Sept gonna bring him along. hahhaa that anak Jeponzxz.

Casper Dearest owe me a comment. until now he never give. you lied!

will be rotting at home if Bloody Chucky still never message me.

2009-08-22T04:48:00.002+08:00

Selamat Berpuasa to all Muslims! Puasa tau jangan tak puasa! (:

Yesterday i message with a guy named, Saufie, for the whole day. he's a joker. and yes, fun to make fren with. then at night, after work, he asked me to call, so i did. we talk, like as if we have known each other for so long. he wants to know about my life, but i told him, dont ever know about it, cus my life sucks. heh. he keep on talking nonsense cus he was sleepy. i force him to sleep when he dont want. in the end, he agree with it(: Night fren!

and oh, not to forget, Casper Dearest called me! hhaahha. we talk nonsense. about this and that. fuuuh! the best TTM. hahaha. and Cas! ika hilang suare eh & saket tekak. you dont macam macam, later i take knife and kill you kay Sayang? hahhaha. should talk longer with you. two more days, and he's going to court. i just feel like, bursting into tears. i hope, he will be back from court with good news and not bad news. whereas, his birthday is coming, 27 Aug! Casper Dearest, ika Love you!

i love working! gosh, today i have to kill myself as it will be busy. 1st Ramadhan, falls on saturday. it will be huge busy! darn. even though the malay staffs are fasting, we still have to continue with our jobs. when busy, we only manage to break fast with warm water and some kuih muih, if we bring. brr!

ahhhhhhhh~ why Dd messaged me? get lost from my life.

Efah, its okay. im trying to be strong. and i know, that i can overcome everything by myself without anyone there for me. still, anything, i share with you. I Love You Too. (:

2009-08-21T00:54:00.002+08:00

Again, Bloody Chucky showing attitude. im busy working while he dont know go where? gosh, im teaching him a lesson for the second time. really, if there's a third time, im gonna move on with my life on my own. im sick and tired being Hurt lah kay. well, no matter what, im strong to overcome all the nuisance without bursting into tears.

i only cry when i message/call with Casper Dearest. he's going to court this coming Monday. Sayang, for sure, i loose a Teman Tapi Mesra yang sweet like sugar seperti kamu. yes, no one can replace my forever TTM when Casper Dearest gone! i love you TTM.

i hate Dd, thank you.

2009-08-20T10:16:00.004+08:00

see that Baby photo on your left hand side. gosh, really! i miss Baby Haziq. when can i meet him again? gaaaah, i still remember the times that Baby Haziq get angry when Bloody Chucky hug, kiss me. when Bloody Chucky ask me to lay down on his lap, Baby Haziq, from far will run towards us and he start to beat me. heh, then Bloody Chucky will scold him and he will cry. when he cry he wont ask Bloody Chucky sayang sayang him, he will come to me and hug. cute kaaaan? hahaha. Mama Love You Kay Baby.

today im so lazy wanna go school. i dont know why. feel so damn tired. if not, until now, i haven't wake up but all thanks you my Dearest Lovely Husband that he force me to wake up by calling my phone and msg alot of times! you very bastaaaaaaaard. and now, im so sleepy but i can't sleep, im bored! no where to go. and for sure, i will be going central to buy yummy yummy fooooods(:

i miss you Dear, i miss the hugs and kisses. whenever i go to sleep, i need your warm hugs and then i will slowly go to sleep. ahhhhhhh~ i can't wait for this Sunday. even though we quarrel much, still i love you alots. bcus you're the best Lover. heh. kay whatever.

I AM BORED!

2009-08-20T00:22:00.002+08:00

this is what Casper Dearest edit for me. heh, cute banget ah you Dearest. hahaha. I love you. wait, get this straight, he's my Teman Tapi Mesra. he's sweet like sugar when he comfort me. he's been there for me. well Cas, betol cakap Cas. Ika senang terpedaya dengan kata kata manis Jantan macam dia kan Cas? but yes, ive make a right decision now. Cas, walaupun Ika hanya Teman Tapi Mesra, Ika janji, I will be there for you. Ppn laen takkan tunggu Cas klua, tapi Ika sanggup! bab, Cas is the best! I Miss You Cas!

yes, i love working with all the Idiotzx. hahaha, they're mad when there's no Customer. it's fun having them as Colleagues. hahhaa. most of the Colleagues is youngster.gaaaaaah! only one staff, that bloody Nepal. you go suck Nipple lah. he's irritating. he go hands and legs but choose to do work with mouth. everything i have to do for him! damn, you may go and die.

Syuh, get this straight. aku malas ah nak carek pasal kay. ku taknak jadi small Kids fighting over small matter like you do. kau Sdare Tiri aku. aku respect kau walaupun Bapak Tiri kau tu adek Bapak Aku. aku malas nak big kan matter with Sdares cus sdare Makan sdare. tak paham kan? your problem. well, Family aku dah kene ah dgn sdare sendiri. so we taknak have another hal. Ingat Ah Dalam Kepale Otak Kau Eh, Aku Pandang Kau Sdare Tiri Ah Eh Walaupun Tak Blood! Get A Life.

aaaaaaah~ Efah dah ader somebody lah. eh bukan somebody, kawan rapat & Setia. hahaha. (((: mengong ah Kamu. Huaaaaaaak~

I miss Bloody Chucky. he stay in today. alamaaaak~ D, meet up soon cus i need your bloody hug kay. hahaha. i love you so Much!

2009-08-19T14:36:00.002+08:00

yesterday SoSial Studies prelim. yes, i manage to do only section A. Li Nau Yaaa! binget je sak. but its okay. at least i try my best. paper ends at 9.30am. after school, Lepak laaaaaaah. when i shout " Li Nau Ya " they laugh. whats so funny guys? hahaha. 10plus, went back home. bathe, get ready to go back Whampoa. waiting for ibu and Ayah to be back home first. then i go out. reach Whampoa house, spent stupid time with Bloody Chucky. i love him to bits. he superb manje! hahaha. at 8plus PM reached home. (: imma goodgirl kan D? ahaha.

today, school bored.. life bored. linauya! go to school as pernormal. only 6 girls attend school for my class. wth? its really mundane. when PE time, i never inform any of my classmate that i went back home. but what do i care. call Ibu up and yea, Fanah, Nas, Asyidee and Tai hao? haha. we peng cite maha peng. they cover up everything. then slack ahh aper lagi. hahaha. had our breakfast at KFC. followed Nas to market and then slacked at tangge ramai ramai. at about 11am, we went to Fanah's old blk. slack till 1230noon, off back home.

now i miss Muhammad Halif Bin Hamzah!

Sekarang kan Ader orang nak step jadi Efah lah seyyy. hahha, well, i love Efah. she's the best listener. always there for me. but hmm, i dont know why ppl love to say that she's some kind of backstabber? nahhh, i even know her cousin. she's kind. i love to Gossip around with her. and oh, mungkin ada seseorang itu TERASA tentang apa yang kita Gossip kan. Sebenarnya Aku dan Efah, selalu Gossip tentang Perihal Kita bukan mengenai Dia atau teman temannya sekalipun. well, i dont entertain kids like you, body big like erm hippo? attitude like an antzxz. i hate you Fatzx. OoOpPzx! i forget, she's a gangster. sorry ah sister. wa siket takda goyang punya dengan lu punya attitude siket serupe dengan dogzxz. hahhaa. Alamak, aku kutok Gangstaaaaaa lah(: ni kalau dier tag aku, that means dier TERASA sebab aku tak letak name. PEACE.

2009-08-17T01:17:00.002+08:00

i guess i'm giving Bloody Chucky another chance.

hope he won't take advantage of it.

just now, meet my beloved Family.

Bloody Chucky And Baby Haziq.

Bloody Chucky asked Baby Haziq to call me Mama. where else Baby Haziq call Bloody Chucky, Papa. heh. so me and Baby Haziq is getting along very well. just now accompany Bloody Chucky send Baby Haziq home. Baby really so biseng tau. he talk, dah macam Jepon. then he still say vulgar even thought he is 1 year 3 months old. huakhuak~ when ppl look at him, he say " Babi Gajah " hahaha. tengok lah Mama dan Papa nye sape. kan baby? hahaha.

so Fasting Month is coming. Bloody Chucky and me planned to go shopping a.s.a.p together when we get our salary which is 2 weeks time. Bloody Chucky please for goodness sake, bring Baby along. huak. i bet, im gonna miss Baby Haziq so much!

2009-08-13T23:53:00.002+08:00

wondering who is she? she is Efah. a girl who understand me the best. she's always there for me. and yea, we gossip alot everytime. heh. we know each other all bcus she terserempak with me and then she find for me thru her far cousin, Yaya. cute kan? sanggop seyyy. heh!

i hope this Sunday, Dd can follow me to her kumpulan keluaran. if not pon, i go with my frens. and yes Efah, you know i know eh. our rahsia. confirm nye, ader orang pon nak sebok sebok tau our secret. hahahah ((:

well, see you on Sunday. anything, i will text you kay sayang?
Love you banyak banyak tooo.

2009-08-13T15:31:00.002+08:00

Booooooo! like so atlast i let Bloody Chucky go away from my life. he is being so irritating. and i give up. now, he is the one keep on finding for me everywhere. im avoiding you that means, i dont love you. HAHAHHA! Casper wondering why i never cry when ive broke up with Bloody Chucky. then i told Cas, its bcus no used crying for him as he treat me like Baruah. kan Cas?

yes, let me just name that someone as Dd kay? hahaha. this Saturday, going out with him. amacam? best pe? hahaha. then Fanah The Jill will be there too i guess. fuuuuuh. i can't wait for Saturday already. i wanna go out with Dd already. hahaha. lagipon, Dd nak masok. yes! dier akan jadi Botak. D, confirm2 i amek you whenever you book out i guess. hahaha.

he make me crazy over him. whenever he call, he will make stupid jokes. ahhhhh~ cute lah dier. tengok je, D, this saturday you gonna get it if you kacao me again. you Foool. hahaha. now he's out with his brother and i dont really wanna message him as i need to save up my ppd. dah running low bebeh. jap lagi nazak plak ~

and im bored. nothing more to type.
right now chatting with Efah.
kite2 gossip like no tomorrow.
heh, see you on Sunday Sayang! (:

now i wanna siap2 to Bukit Batok slaaaaack! (:

2009-08-12T16:37:00.003+08:00

booooooooooo! i've been missing for so long and yes, alot of things happen. HAHAHA! should i or not elaborate everything. okay whatever, i will only elaborate things that i remember. hmm! hahaha.

7 Aug.
what me and class hope for soccer boys, in the end, 4N7 is the champion. wooooo! so happy. and im glad, after all the oh-so-boring assembly ended, i went to slack with Fanah and Nas. we're bored so we bareng, talk so loud, smoke, laugh. brr! thats the only thing we do. so went back home. sleep till i overslept for work. fuck!

8 Aug.
Work Work Work. fought with Bloody Chucky. he's out with his frens while im working. BitcH~

9 Aug.
Bloody Chucky spoiled my plan. he spoiled everything. so sudden he dont wanna go out. damn~ im not asking him out anymore. thought of having fun with Fanah, Nas and Bby Alina. still, Bloody Chucky ruined it! i wanna watch fireworks, but i miss him. Thanks Bloody Chucky You Fuck!

10 Aug.
Work but Bloody Chucky out with his sis. wtf?! fought with him. really, he getting tooo much!

11 Aug.
school, its fun with frens. after school, went to Guardian. Fanah bought laughing gas. i tried it out. wah shit, i laugh like fuck! and oh, i re-pierce my tongue. yes, i love it. hahaha. so i make frens with Casper. well, i know him before this. hahhaa. dumb. fought with Bloody Chucky.

12 Aug.
i love school today. not bored. so after recess, smoke and yea, we all take the laughing gas together. baek ahhh~ fun pe? hmm its like, everyone were laughing out loud. heh! i want more! Bloody Chucky MC. Casper The Great is my ttm. HAHA! and and, someone contact back with me. fuuuuuh. was so happy. hahaha. for me to know, for you to find out. that cute guy. yessa!

---------------------------------------------------------

yes, i give up with love. really give up. i can't stand any longer. he getting too much. he hurts me alot. yes, really alot. i tried not to cry for a guy. but i have to. the tears came down by it ownself. so i told him, we end this better. and i put down the phone. still i cry. i have to be strong. i just need love by him. really, i dont asked much. why must this always happen?

thanks to Casper who cheer me up everytime when im down. he's the best ttm. he make me smile like kambing. kan Cas? hahaha.

that someone, its not i dont wanna be with you. but i dont want her to think that i snatch you away. cus she did told me once, that she wanna be with you. i dont wanna hurt her. so its better for us to stay as what we are last time kay?

well, i have to be strong to face everything.

2009-08-09T13:18:00.001+08:00

ITS TIME FOR ME TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU.
NO MORE GIVING YOU FACE.
ITS ALREADY UP TO THE LIMIT.
ALRIGHT MUHAMMAD HALIF?

2009-08-06T00:09:00.008+08:00

every words on top, explain everything. im hurt. deeply hurt. who can i share with? no one wanna listen to my story anymore. im tired. why always me? i wanna cry. * tears * whats the use i sacrifice for him? what do i get? Nothing, precisely. i wanna give up. but how? i love him. i need him. but still? what should i do? * tears * i can't stand it any longer. but i have to be strong. i can't make up my mind!

im not an attention seeker. but i need someone to be there for me. i need hugs! especially from him. but he dont need me? i hate this feeling. why i can't think everything in positive? why must it be negative?

i have to be strong. i have to be strong face this. i shouldn't be like this all the time. i try to be good all this while. i try to be patience with everything. but why everything turns out the other way round? hais how should i settle this out? how should i talk to him?

IM BACKING OFF as its the best way.

no more trusting people easily. i have to becareful with all guys attitude. hais. i miss being hug, kiss. i dont believe in forever. is he being the truth all this while? i dont know. im confused!

--------------------------

well, 4N7 soccer boys managed to get in. so its Final! im proud of my class. atleast the boys, what they wish, has already been granted.they versus with 4N5. now they are hoping to be the champion right guys? well, i support my class the best. they got their teamwork & also, sportmanship!

for girls, at least we tried our best. we won one game out of 4 when actually is we have to win 2 games. thanks to that bloody idiot class for stealing our points. i was hoping for re-match. and i begged Miss Tam for it. so she say " score is final " i felt so disappointed.

girls, we have done a great job! all the teamworks, its only a game. the day of it has end. yes, im proud with all you girls. we lose doesn't mean we can't make it. we can if we focus enough in this. nevermind. the day already end. at least, we had some fun! i love you girls!

im so gonna support the soccer! im gonna cheer for them. even other class jeer to us, well, as a class, team, we will fight back. one for all, all for one. the best class ever! ((((:

2009-08-03T00:50:00.002+08:00

im so gonna get my bloody tongue pierced soon! & i can't wait. the best thing is that, Dear even allow me to do this piercing. i did ask his permission and he say, your wish baby. awwww. Dear, you're such an awesome boyfren! hahaha.

without Dear knowing, last saturday i went to Yishun with Fanah The Jill just to watch Sri Cempaka Puteh. and yea, sorry Baby Yaya, that we gotta go when you menurun. we were rushing. i scared Dear scolded me. so i twist and turn story. im glad, everything sort out.

i just can't wait for 9 Aug! i know what to wear. and i cant wait to meet Baby Haziq! but then i will be meeting Efah for awhile. cus her kumpulan having keluaran. i hope i can go there and watch for awhile.

if i were to bang into that stupid fool Ns Police Guy, i'm so gonna make him jealous and don't wish to see my fucking face anymore. that has to prove, im happy with Chucky. well, after all, he will know that Whampoa is my second house.

i love Muhammad Halif and Haziq Hazrel!

Dear wants me to take care of Baby Haziq everytime when he bring Baby Haziq out! Hahhaa Shouldn't be a problem. i hope when he grow up, he will call me mama too.

2009-07-31T18:36:00.002+08:00

yes, i sprain my knee. wtf? so i hope my knee get well before next tuesday. bcus we are having inter-class captains ball. and we aiming to be in the final. hope that 4N7 wish came true!

Dear is such a pain in the ass. still i love him alot. im missing Baby Haziq! Dear can i meet Baby Haziq again? heh. so i scolded Dear for being too much today, he is. he makes me burst into tears. the sweet part of him is he coax me. i love you Dear! makesure Baby Haziq is going out with us on 9 August!

well, next two week, surely i will be going to Sarkas Putro Keluaran. its nearer. i miss Kuda Kepang alots. before Ramadan started, that will be my last show that i will be watching. after Raya, if i am still interested, im sure that i will be coming down to any keluaran ((:

2009-07-31T00:20:00.002+08:00

i just feel like being alone. i just feel like crying. i can't stand it anymore. im tired of getting hurt. hais! i wanna cry out very loud. so that everybody knows how hurt and sad am i right now. hais! i dont know why, in a sudden, i really wanna avoid Dear. who will listen to my story? still no one.

lack of love by Dear. lack of attention by Dear. lack of kiss by Dear. lack of hug by Dear. still more tears coming out. i need Dear. i need the old him. the one when he really cares about our love. out of sudden, he changed. change to different person who i dont know. Dear, what have i done to you? i sacrifice alot. still i thought, im not the best for you. but i love Dear alot. i dont wanna gave up easily. i can't depends on him everytime.

ika, grow up and be independent!

2009-07-27T18:30:00.005+08:00

alot of things happen on weekends. and im too sleepy to type everything. maybe next time kayy? im really tired. really sorry babies! i will update soon. dont go away from my blog kay?

no matter what IkaChucky still staying strong.

2009-07-24T23:33:00.002+08:00

i hate myself today. such a fucking sway day! NB. i feel like crying but no one is there for me. bf? no, I'm not depending on him for this few days. he's down with fever. he gotten MC for light duties but before that i was hoping he MC for rest at home. shitzx.

- raining heavily early in the morning.
- phone got confiscate without a reason.
- fought with Dear.
- oral suckzx. berbudi bahasa?
- hate first & third bro.

whatever. still im not giving a damn. baby lappy has already move into my room. weee! im happy, and its easier. tomorrow will be going for Reena's party. so i hope, Dear could tag. please B.

Mum, please remember this. Muhammad Halif as known as Chucky. and its not Azmi. that bloody ass. i love Chucky now and im happy with my life. stop saying Chucky looks like Azmi. i hate it Mum.

i miss Muhammad Halif! Get well soon B!

2009-07-22T12:13:00.002+08:00

Dear told me that next week Haziq will be coming his house. weeeee! and yah, i will be taking off on next Saturday. i wanna go out with Dear and Haziq tooo! Dear! i wanna meet Haziq again!

we had a tiff now. he's being so sensitive these days. he the one who say, no secret between us. when i told him that i keep on dreaming about insertthatname, Dear mad at me ): now no message, and miss calls from him. haaaaaais!

and im bored at home. serve you right for not coming to school. *slap my face* hahaha. again i miss today lessons. but still, i will catch up. seriously, i really stay at home today. and i dont wish to get out of the house. im super lazy! hahaha. now waiting for youngest brother to be back home. cus ibu bought me food and ask him to pass to me. hahaa. thank you ibu(:

kay done, i guess i wanna rest first till bro comes back.

2009-07-21T20:11:00.003+08:00

this bloody brother online, chat with him. then merajuk tak tentu pasal, just bcus i write " Sayang Muhammad Halif! " at my pm. he's not happy. he wants me to change to his name. pantat kan? click the picture to enlarge. you see what i wrote on my pm and what he wrote on his pm too. now he's not happy cus i blog about him.

abang, one thing, i miss you. hahaha. get well soon kay bacin? he keep on saying he will die soon. stupid sia. biler aku bace aper dier type, maki je lah dier. geram sak dengan kau SHAFIEE! babi kau. well abang, take care of your health, you know that adek love you (((:

Abang, kakak pesan to get well soon too (:

2009-07-21T16:11:00.003+08:00

Muhammad Halif! how should i describe that im missing him so much! hais. its okay, im making myself busy so that time pass so fast and suddenly its Saturday night and Sunday morning. HAHAHA. and Dear please, for once, let me watch Kuda! gosh, i miss watching that.

im craving for spaghetti and mee goreng, what's wrong with me? damn it. and im super hungry. i dont know what to cook for myself. i guess, i make use of this time to clean up my wardrobe and room cus it's super messy.

i dont know why i love school. well, i love Chemistry like so at last. its bcus, i just realise it is easy like Maths. Haha. but still Maths is the best after all. i dont wanna give amiss to school anymore, but tomorrow, i wanna absent myself from school as what i heard, school end earlier then usual for GCE 'O' level. hmm, so im hoping so Dear let me go out tomorrow.

Sayang Muhammad Halif!

2009-07-19T22:15:00.002+08:00

so yea. this is my Beloved Arny Boy! hahaha. after almost a week never meet up, yesterday and today such a meaningful day! ahaha. Dear, i miss you badly now. hais. well, he's busy on weekdays while me, im busy on weekends. fuck bodoh! this is what make us far apart. but still, in one heart. and forever will be.

last Saturday, Dear twin brother came to Sakura, HAHAHAK! know what? Chucky the murderer. got one customer came and bring Chucky the doll. hahahak!

now im watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire part 2. and i swear my eyes is half awake. fuck! i wanna sleep already. update sooon.

2009-07-16T23:58:00.002+08:00

this is my table. when im bored, i will borrow a black permanent marker from Ernest. heh, then i will start writing Sayang's name. i did tell Sayang that i keep on writing his name, then he say " next time write at teachers face also. " then i laugh non stop. im so stupid to imagine something like that. HAHAHAHAK!

supposingly, i have to pass up my coursework today. but i got no time to be down. so i give up when doing inside computer lab. then i asked the permission from teachers that i wanna leave early. and wht the fuck?! i have to pass it up by today, still not done with Evaluation and overall Work plan. this is all bcus im busy working. Nabey Cibye.

Abang Shafiee has been confirmed that he are having H1N1 right now. and i cried when i get the news. Abang, i hope you get well soon. please quarrantine yourself inside the room till you recovered. i want to joke around with you again. still adek love you no matter what ((((:

Childish?.

2009-07-16T13:33:00.002+08:00

So yea, im bored. Having F&N right now. But it's the last period. And i'm fucking alone! nabey. Alina and Honey went for oral. F.T and Gracey absent. there's Nurul here. but she's busy with her things too. i got no one to talk to. and oh, my mood fly to somewhere. still no one to share with.

Love busy working. one whole fucking morning never message. well, have to bare with it. and imma a little bit angry with him too. he got nights off yesterday, but he dont even wanna meet me up. he follow his fren to dont know where instead. im crying still you dont know me Love. Love Life of mine getting complicated. we got no time for each other. WHY THE FCUK IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME AGAIN?!?!?! Love, i need you. i need your shoulder. i want you to wipe away my tears. when will you hug me tightly like you used to? * tears.

Muhammad Halif, i miss you.

Long Post I Bet.

2009-07-15T17:29:00.004+08:00

i'm so good girl this week. as i never give amiss to school. but i will always skipped my mother tongue bcus i hate Cikgu. she teached us as if she's better than everything. HAHAK! and today, had our english N level oral in school. i'm so nervous till i talk as if like i got no voice. shits! im afraid that i would fail. oh yes, after so long, today then i get to see exBoyfren who same school as me, back in school. but for awhile only. his face and one of Sayang's fren really look alike. and im sure its not him (:

and this is what i usually do when im bored in class. i draw out him name then outline and decorate it with differents colours of pens. and took pic of it with negative effects. tadaaaa~ hahak. i guess, im gonna miss him so much! once a week we could meet up. hais. why am i far away from the one i love? he's campsite has change. no more Ayer Rajah Camp. yesterday afternoon, they have moved to Sembawang camp. and he will be starting his course at Kaki Bukit. which means, it is near to Ayah workplace. HAHAK! and today, he has start to drive ermm .. lorry i guess? .. he was nervous. but B, you passed. im glad you can make it and I Love You. B i dont wish to lose you.

"aku takut jikalau cinta kau buat diriku berubah untuk seseorang yang lebih baik, sopan dari aku. aku faham bahawa aku bukan apa yang engkau mahu. tapi inilah diriku. tetapi, aku cintakan kau. bukan mudah buat aku jatuh cinta setelah aku disakiti oleh dua jejaka yang aku cinta dengan sepenuh hati. aku sangat serik dan aku tidak mahu kejadian itu berulang sekali lagi. aku perlu engkau berada di sisi ku. aku takut kalau apa apa terjadi pada aku kerana aku percaya aku selamat di jaga oleh engkau. kau telah beri aku semangat untuk bercinta dan percaya satu sama lain. kau janji kau tidak akan kembali kepada perempuan itu, dan aku berjanji, selama kau dalam Perkhidmatan Negara, aku tidak akan berasa bosan tanpa kau dan aku tidak akan cari seseorang untuk mengganti kan engkau dalam hidup aku. Dan Kepada Muhammad Halif, Aku Cinta Kan Engkau."

2009-07-14T15:58:00.002+08:00

so yea, i just got a bad news from Dear that i can't spend anymore time with him that much. only Saturday he will be back home then Sunday have to book in again. Hais. how to spend time together? weekdays he's working, weekends im working. but i wont give up. so ive made up my mind, that weekends i will be working only half day starting from next week. so that i could spend some time with Dear too.

this few days me and Dear keep on quarrel with each other about small thing. hais. even though i told him to stop, he will continue. after awhile, he cool down by himself. still i love you Hunney.

kerane Muhammad Halif Bin Bapaknye, aku dah tak boleh turun maner maner kumpulan keluaran. kalau aku turon pon, confirm confirm aku terserempak ex ex aku yang sial tu semue. and aku dah tak minat dalam Seni ini lagi. Haiya!

Dear,
i will be missing you alot. and, i have to face this for months again. we cant meet up except saturday. and uh, i sacrifice my time for my work just to meet you. B the love from me to you will never change. & i want this to last. you're in camp and im outside, i promise you that i never get bored when you in camp and i promise that i love only you. B i dont wanna loose you as I Love You Alots!

and i baked cookies today (: heh.

2009-07-09T00:52:00.002+08:00

Maybe others don't know how tired i am right now. All they think is about themselves and not me. hais! Im just lucky that Sayang is there to guide me all along. No matter what, i still have to depends on him. Like he said, wanna be independant, go be single. hmm, yup he's true.

Sayang, No Matter What, I Really Love You Alot. And I'm Really Into This Relationship. And I Want The Best Of Us. Much More Loving Than My Ex. I Wanna Show Them That I'm Happy With The New Love/Relationship. And I Will Show Them That Even Though You Have To Be Responsible About Haziq Hazrel, I'm Still Being Yours One And Only. I Love You Till The End.

2009-07-06T01:15:00.002+08:00

hmm yea, yesterday i spend time with Sayang till he book in. and now im missing him. hmm, before he went to sleep, i was on the phone with him. and i dont know why, he's being so irritating lah. and keep on acting cute. HAHAK!. then he will start saying he's cute and handsome.

& so, he die die wants me to upload all his picture into my tagged. then he threaten me by saying if i didn't upload, he will make his own account. waaah, then ive already upload all. hahaha. and duh, i cant wait for this coming saturday. shopping! & i force him to bring Haziq Hazrel along.

wonder why i type his baby full name right? its all because he forced me to type it cus Haziq Hazrel name is so cute. thats what he say. and i was shocked that whatever name for his babyboy and future babygirl's name is almost the same as what HAZIKA has planned last time. hah! like wth?

salam takziah kepade keluarga Vera. well, i gotta know, Vera's beloved sister passed away after i gotten a bad news that she jump down from ninth storey high. i cry when i gotta know the news as i still remember the days that im closed with both of them. i hope she's resting in peace. Amin~

kay done. going to sleep if not, im gonna be deaf soon. haha. GoodNight Loves!

2009-07-05T02:01:00.005+08:00

Since Dear is busy with Haziq Hazrel, so i make myself busy with work. and still i got scolded by Dear bcus i penting kan keje. hmm, its not like i, myself, wants it to be this way. but i have to, to find money for own usage. hmm.

Dear, im sorry about my exBoyfren's attitude. see, Azmi wont fail to make me go separate ways with who i am with now. its like he's my parents gytu. so what? i fight for my rights. I love Chucky now. he's everything to me. hais. but i dont wanna put high hopes of Dear. as i dont wana get easily hurts.

I Love Chucky! Dear, Haziq Hazrel cute ahkkk. hahhaa.

2009-07-02T14:33:00.002+08:00

wondering who? hmm, this is Dear's babyboy. heh! after what he told me today, i just have to accept the fact. he's not letting me go. so i dont know whether wanna to trust his words or just think as if it is a lie?

Dear hoping that i could take care of little kids especially babies. he was so shocked when i say i could bcus im used to it already. i babysit a few baby cousins before. the serious talking that we are having turns out to be a crap as i took it as a joke. but actually in my heart, i was so shocked when he says that he have a child.

so first thing im afraid of, if he were to be back with the baby's mum. bcus that girl's mum doesn't know that they are already seperated. still Dear says they wont be together again bcus he gave that girl two chances and can't make it. hais. maybe from my face, i dont ge hurt and always think positively. but actually in my heart, i wanna cry so loud so that people can hear my voice. hais! i force myself not to let the tears roll down my cheeks in front of Dear.

now im forcing myself to accept the fact. and i wanna show it to Dear that i could take good care of his baby even though i'm not the biological mum. and also, i wanna show to both of my ex that i am moving on without them. im not turning back again. so i love my life.

Dear,
thats your promises, what if you break your promise? and one day when you get to know that she change, what if you turn back to her? if you were to turn back, confirm your reasons will be " this baby need his parents to see him grow up. " hais. Dear, i bukan aper, cukop lah i disaketi. ni pon, i esai gong je, i tetap nak ader matae. hais. Dear, i nak you tau, i dah terlalu sayang kan you. tapi kalau one day, you nak patah alek ngan dier, i takle cakap pape. you and her have a son.

i dont wanna say much. im speechless!

2009-07-01T14:49:00.002+08:00

i bet ya'll will laugh at this pic. this was the time, Alanto has been asked to get out of my house. when i get back home from work, at 1plus in the morning, suddenly they got a plan. hahhaa. very funny siak. hahaha! hmm.

today is the second day of school for me. and might as well i need not go to school kan, i sleep one whole day at school. hahaha. never study pon. heh. Dear busy with training. and im bored now! damn.

and im happy bcus later meeting Dear. heh! I Miss You Dear!

2009-06-30T09:20:00.002+08:00

First day of school is like a hell. went in to school as if it is a hospital. not even a period, they send me home bcus im sick. im having cough and flu. brrr! so i told Dear that i've been send home. hahhaa. he knows that i like it. hahhaa. but before Ibu send me home, she drop me down at Polyclinic. took MC then back home. chat, tagged then i sleep till Dear Nights off. that means, i get to meet him lah. hahaha.

tomorrow then he will be booking out and followed by a day off. gerek pe? hahaha. but when he off, im working. hais! today maybe he wont get Nights Off. i dont know why. and i just have to wait. i hope i get a good news.

soo what a small world. Dear is a fren to Alanto's brother, Sulaiman. hahaha. i was so shocked. Dear knows all Alanto frens. and i know they confirm say " eh ni ppn Alanto kan? amcm boleh pegi pat chucky? " hahhaha. dah confirm confirm nye. hmm.

so whatever is it, im going back to sleep. GoodBye Babies.

2009-06-28T22:17:00.002+08:00

not even a month and im Attached to one charming named as Chucky. well thats the fake one. hmm, he's serving NS too.but he is Army Boy lah kan. hahaha. well, its easy for me to go out with him sometimes. he got car license. anytime he could borrow whoever's car to drive me anywhere. hahaa! he got tattoos on his leg and left wrist. but still, im loving him. hmm. i dont care what peoples gonna say.

school gonna re-open in less than 24 hours. fuck! i didn't finish my coursework. and! i lost my thermometer. damn it sial! i rather work than go to school. i owe CHRISTINE TAN fucking two days detention. damn it!

im so gonna miss my dear colleague, Ahmad. he's going off to Indonesia soon to continue his studies there. hais. no more joking joking together, break together. hais! for sure, im gonna cry on his last day of work which is 9 July. and he will be back on 10 July to pass the Uniform. so 11 July he will be flying off. and i wanna send him there. hais. while typing this, i wanna cry. serious, ya'll wont know how close am i to him after Alanto left this job. hais.

Ahmad,
aku akan rindu kau. rindu kau punye merepek! macam tetibe kau nak pegi. hais. asal mesti jauh jauh? orang yang aku rapat dengan, semue nak pegi. asal? daaaah aku jalan pegi opposite bus stop sorang sorang. lau tak, selalu dengan kau. ketawe pasal bende tak masok akal. hais! aku slalu datang awal biler kau keje, pasal aku tau, aper aper, kite buat sesame. confirm nye, on last day kau, aku nangis. hais! kalau boleh, aku taknak kau pegi! kau selalu lindung aku lepas Adha tinggal kan aku. kau selalu tenang kan aku biler aku tengah binget. kau cheer aku up walau aper pon. hais. rindu siak ni macam! jangan kau lupe aku plak. all the best!

I'm Happy With What I Have.

2009-06-25T09:41:00.004+08:00

Maybe I Could Be Back For Blogging.

But Not Today, As I'm In A Rush.

K Great. Gonna Update Soon.

Thanks Ibu & Ayah For The New Laptop (:

& Ya'll, Tag Me Your Link Okayy?

Alanto still have to be resposible about it(:

2009-06-20T02:21:00.003+08:00

everything has ended now.

and im back to who i am.

well single life. im gone missing for awhile.
will be back blogging once im fine(:

beach party today. wooohoo!

so anything, leave a comment.

Im Happy About Tomorrow!

2009-06-10T14:44:00.002+08:00

Baby's birthday is tomorrow. Im excited about it. Bcus i wanna be the first girl, ran to him, hug him and kiss him. and of cus i wish him. gonna hug him tightly. hahaha. at first i will act as if i forget his birthday. then surprise him with kisses. and oh, his present. hahhaha. cant wait to give it. hahahha. time please move faster.

Bb Alanto ! i love you no matter what. weeee!

2009-06-04T20:42:00.002+08:00

so this is what i manage to buy for Bb Alanto's birthday present. there's a letter too. im just hoping that he like it and he will keep it safe. hmm. im sick and still manage to find it. hope he appreciate it. heh! i cannot wait for his birthday. time please move faster alright!

Few More Days!

2009-06-04T02:07:00.002+08:00

Bb Alanto's birthday coming lah siul. i have less then 7 days to plan on his birthday. and im wondering, what should i do? ive bought him a polo T from kappa shop. its original. gosh. please anyone, help me. give me some ideas. thank you!

Bb's birthday coming lah siuuul.

Imma Busy Now.

2009-05-25T13:55:00.002+08:00

hmm i wont be updating regularly anymore. wanna know why? bcus ive start working so as Sayang. he work same place as me. wanna see me when im working, go to Sakura at Far East Plaza level five. i will be doing beverage. fuuun siuul. the staffs and managers. semue gerek lah kaaaay!

i in-charge of beverage and of cus i have to serve drinks. and aku kene kacao dgn macam macam matrep. Sayang saw it then he's angry. dier bukan marah. dier jealous. so i told myself, im attached and wanna make this love to be the last one. hmm. there i go, i ignore them.

day by day im loving Sayang so much. he's just everything to me. he means everything. Ibu happy to see me happy when im with Sayang. me and family had made a plan for Sayang's birthday which is few weeks time. and im gonna buy that shirt from Puma. and i wanna buy the same as what im gonna buy for Sayang! heh. i plan so hard for it and hope it turns out well on the day itself.

Bb, im sorry for not being a good girlfriend. yes, you give me face alot of times and i took it for granted. im so sorry. and thank you so much that you still being so patience towards me and my attitude after i hurt you alot of times. and im glad we didn't quarrel but still have a misunderstanding. you're the best guy ever. you tolerate all my wrongdoings without complaining. still you give me face till today. im so happy that no matter what, im still close with you. Bb, i promise that i won't upset you. i wanna show to my stupidiest ex boyfriend that even though you're a bad guy last time, you can still take good care of me without laying a hand to me. im glad that i found you, my first love, back. i dont wanna lose you another time. i dont want other people to make us separated. i love you so much. i just cant describe how, but i really love you. im missing you. its like i have to see your face all the time right in front of me so that i wont think much and i felt safe. Bb, you promised me that you wont leave me no matter what. you promised me that you wont make me feel regret being with you. i dont want it to be empty promises. and thanks for being so understanding! You're The First Guy Who Didn't Control My Life That Much.

I Love Muhammad Adha Bin Malek So Much!

It's All Bcus I Love You Alots.

2009-05-17T22:28:00.002+08:00

last four days, Bb Alanto sleep at my house. and its like fuuun! he's like in this family. but one thing, where ever i go, he must follow. he cannot sit still. like as if his butt got cacing. hahaha. but sometimes i have to shout at him as he's too irritating. then he will sit down and keep quiet. he's too manje and always berkepit with me.

he went home today. bcus he has Kuda Kepang training. and im missing him so much. but tomorrow meeting him again as me, Bb Alanto and Fifi got interview. pray hard that i get the job. three of us need money badly.

i was stupid. wanna know why? bcus i over-used my phone. and now my bill is almost $300. i planned to sell away my phone. when i got a job and got money, then i wanna buy my old phone which is Nokia ExpressMusic 5610 back. gosh!

this week i didnt watch Kuda Kepang as im lazy to go out of the house. heh. so i missed this week keluaran. 31 May i have to be there. as Sayang is performing. and im hoping that parents let me join Kuda. heh.

Muhammad Adha Bin Malek! hahhaha.
i love you so much.

Bcus I Miss Alanto Zas.

2009-05-10T18:32:00.002+08:00

i did spend time with Sayang. and i love him so much. HAHA! got watch Kuda Kepang with him and his family. and yaw, kite same same dah kenal each other family. and same same dah ader second house. hahaha

today Sayang sleeping over at my house. and tak sabar for him to come. heh. dier cute lah sey. rindu dier sangat sangat. its ain't easy for us to quarrel bcus each time nak quarrel, both of us make jokes. then same same ketawe.

i got nothing to blog about. and i need job.

AlantoZaaaaas's

2009-04-28T20:26:00.004+08:00

thats him and that is Adha. gaaah! k i dont know why i love him so deeply now. i love him for who he is. bukan pasal Adha ader name eh. its bcus i like his type. the best part is, dier manje! hahaha. cute tau biler he make manje voice. heh. i cant wait for the day to meet up with him as i miss him aloooot. yes alot! and wanna know what his mum call me? his mum call me " bby " wtf? hahahah. was shocked when she talk to me on the phone. hahhaa. now im waiting for Sayang's message as he's busy with soccer. brr.

one more thing, thanks ExBoyFriend, you make me cry at home when im alone and again, im sick. fuck you bitch. thanks for the hurt words. and i love it. i dont mean to do this, but i have to. as i cant stand any longer of your fucking attitude, so i have to let go. gosh, take care.

and yikeees! my sickness from bad to worst. i thought it has cure, but no! my cough still becoming from bad to worst. and i can cough non stop till i cry and vomit. fuck! i need to see the doctor again. hais. i hope i can be who i am back.

lastly, I Miss Muhammad Adha Bin ( Insert The Father Name ) GoodNight Babies.

Its The End But New Book Now.

2009-04-27T22:52:00.002+08:00

so yea, ive broke up with Azmi Bin Abdul Jalal. so i still forget to type it out. its like last two weeks, on friday night, around 1plus in the morning, he came down my house. we were quarreling but dont know bcus of what. i was on the phone with Adha. i were inside my house, when he wanted to snatch my phone. i refuse to give, he make a mess infront of my dooorstep. but i smell something, he drink drank drunk. then he come again. i give him the phone. he talked and he went down. i faster get down just to take my phone and ran home. but no! i can't. while going down the stairs. he were under the shelter talking to Adha. he turned back and walk towards me in a fast way and say " ohh kau bbl ngan jantan eh * tight slap * " zaaaap! i was forcing myself not to cry and be strong. but after more than 10 times of slap, pushed twice and a kicked till there's a bruise, i cried so hard and he brought me around the carpark and comfort me. i was wanting to say " fuck you " brr. then i went home. and here start the complicated love.

then the next day i was down with fever and aku amek power. fuck! i regret after that. i was blur and being a stupid girl. brr. after few days, Adha came down to my place and took care of me when im sick. i brought him and meet up with my mum. she was happy with it. i've been forced to tell everything to my mum, and i did! grrr. then mum tells dad. and both not happy and force me to leave Azmi. i thought i could patch with Adha. i did, but not long, Azmi came back into my life again. there goes the love and i neglect about Adha.

last saturday, i watched Kuda Satrio with Azmi and kawan ku. Adha was there too. first Azmi dont really recognize Adha. he caught me talking to Adha. hahaha. takooot ah. so nak amek hati punye pasal, i bawak Azmi go watch Kuda Sri Cempaka Puteh. heh, tgk Yaya and Zul maen. hmm, baek luhh. then go home.

yesterday, thought of going out with Azmi. but in the end tak jadi. so i go out with Adha. since he got keluaran. i stay till at night. baek pe dier maen. hahah. & Azmi got to know that im out with Adha bcus Ruzaini saw me when he joget tarian. then he tell Azmi. whatever, Adha brought me and meet me up with his mum. gosh! paisey aku. talk and talk. after keluaran, then i go home.

now ive broke up with Azmi. and im with Adha. im not what kayyyy! i already love Adha. brr! now he's my sayang.

2009-04-21T15:40:00.002+08:00

sorry bcus i didn't update for the past 9days. i was so busy escaping school, spend time with Sayang. how i wish everyday i could meet up with him. as i love him so much. gosh! & for the past 4 days im down with high fever. there's a big reason why.

me and Sayang broke up twice in two days and all thanks to my Adha. eversince he enter my life again, everything change. hais! what a luck. so ive make up my mind, i leave Adha and stay as fren.

im happy with my life now. (: